The Physiology of Fear

'If we understand why we are afraid,
then maybe we have a
chance to change the experience.'

Fear has been given to me as an
acronym, and possibly one you
have heard before:

False, Evidence, Appearing, Real or False, Expectations, Appearing, Real

Generally our fears are founded in previous experience, and then relayed forward to an experience we've never even had! So when we approach birthing, we like to seek out as much information as possible to help ourselves prepare for that unknown.

However, often the information available today, doesn't relate a true experience. So over time of watching scary births, women screaming and stressed, fathers beside themselves, medical teams deep in discussions about the right course of action...it becomes chaotic, confusing, and scary!

These old scary feelings already exist in us. They are the same feelings we had as kids when our brother jumped out of a closet with a torch under his chin and scared us! Or when we weren't too sure about all this Santa Clause business? Why is a strange man coming down our chimney tonight and bringing us gifts? Could he come back when we are sleeping and steal them back, or worse yet steal us?

These old feelings are already there inside us. Believe me, if it was your husband having the child, he'd be just as nervous as you are about passing this beach ball through himself as well! Largely their fears are not quite as intense, as it's happening around them but sincerely, not TO them. Lets leave that aside for a moment.

So women, generally prepare themselves for the worst, and have their partners confirming for them, "no worries, it's normal, we were all born this way, how bad can it really be?" Then the fears take over as the 9th month concludes and those fears are very real and anchored to all those other fearful feelings we had as children, and all through our lives growing up. And yet, we look around and see very small - tiny even- women walking around carrying for several children and think "she did it" ....that's the intellectual process. The evidence gathering that tells us, "oh this is nothing".

When we encounter the first strong surges however, that leave us a little breathless, sometimes those old fears come up so strong, along with all the words of wisdom from the population "this is going to be the end of you".
And we get very afraid.

Now the body knows when it's afraid. And it knows something isn't right and so that fear takes over essential chemicals in the body that control blood distribution. Think about birthing, the big muscles in the tummy, what do they need to not tire and get exhausted during the marathon they are about to run? Right! Oxygenated blood supply.

What does baby need to stay with a great heart beat, and withstand the long hours of compression while it's moving through the birth canal? Right, Oxygenated blood supply.

And what happens when we get scared? Adrenaline or Catecholamine, are released in huge amounts and they direct all the oxygenated blood supply to the big muscles in the body to help you FIGHT or RUN AWAY. Arms and Legs are getting it all! Tummy, baby, placenta, very little. As a matter of fact, a labour can be moving right along very well, until mom changes to the hospital, and then it all stops directly!

The very sight of all those mechanisms that might have to be used on her ; this is the place where they cut people open, what if I don't perform as they want me to? What if I scream out so others can hear me? What if I lose it? FEAR - These may be false expectations appearing real, however, deep in her system, it's real!

And as fear takes over, the relaxed and calm breathing mother, turns into the birthing panic ball, unreachable, inconsolable, and fearful to the point of transferring that fear not only to her child, but also to all those around her. A fearful, screaming mother is about as terrifying as it gets anywhere, but to her, there is now, no escaping the reality of where she's landed herself and it's so intense.

The result? The birth stops, she feeds the fear, the medical teams do everything they can to get her going but her fear is very real, and it's unstoppable. What can help her?

If she's practiced enough, believes in the process of HypnoBirthing, has strong support from her husband and good support from RN's and Midwives, she can usually get it back, and get on with her birthing. If she believes, with evidence, the pain is increasing, it's going to get worse, she won't be able to handle it, she'd rather be dead that have to go through any more, the fear is ramping up inside her....

One must ask the question, what is best for her, best for baby?

This moment, is there in every birth....every birth.

The midwife says to you, "I want you to be more uncomfortable than you are right now. "what?"

The surges are lessening, and you are happy about it, but they say, it's going the wrong way, they need to be closer together... "what?"

Where you get on top of the birth and feel, "there, I've got it handled" they say, no it's not working like we would like it to.
it needs to be more intense, and you say "What? are you insane? "

So the ease of the tub or shower, can slow things a little to a lot! It can add hours to your labour if you don't use it correctly. If you don't relax and rest between the surges. If you let your mind take control and worry yourself to pieces.
You become the over tired mother, and they begin to doubt you will have the energy for the final surges.

You will have the energy, you will... only during those last few intense surges as baby leaves the uterus, you don't believe for a minute it's going to get easier, but it does. Even when it does, you kind of don't believe it's really gotten easier!

Then you get a rest. You and baby, just resting as the uterus catches up. The surges are light, easier than they have been, and you can rest deep in your body and connect to baby, because in about 20 minutes or so, there will be strong surges again, and that uterus will do what it does best, surge baby out of your body.

Sometimes if you are on a monitor, as baby slips below the pelvic bone, the monitor will stop picking up baby's heart rate and start picking up yours. Inexperienced RN's can mis-read these and set a panic that baby's in trouble, when in actual fact they need to move the monitors down. If the heart rate suddenly shows 84 down from 158 that's generally what's happened but it can create a lot of excess worry on a labouring mother hooked up to a monitor at this stage of the birth.

Baby's ok at this stage, just needs lots of deep breathing, and this is the place where you feel inner shuttering, and shaking. That's the oxytocin releasing in your body too...and all of it makes for a wild cocktail. You might also feel a little nauseated or even throw up a bit, that's all the room that the stomach now has after weeks of being held in this pancake position. Sometimes there's some heart burn too, and some gas, and some throwing up. Usually by this point it's just water, and of little consequence.

If the fear packets are out of control here, or if there are suggestions given to a mother at this point, that undermine her belief in herself AT ALL, she'll often give it over and admit "failure". Cut the child out of me, I can't do this!

It doesn't really matter that she's nearly finished, the belief is the marathon is way too intense for her to manage and she's ready to quit! The slightest suggestion of potential failure at this stage and this is all she needs to abandon herself.

Why? She's been deep in her "state" for hours, focused continually every 3-4 minutes by intense surges as her body births her infant. By now often moms are so deep in their state, they do not even recognize anyone, they are just managing their body, their surges their birth.

They really don't need external direction regarding pushing or not pushing as their body is going to do it anyway. Generally they can however, "blow the surges away" by not using their breath and focusing on moving baby down and out. The greater the vision for mom at this time, the greater the focus the easier and faster this stage is, and the easier and faster it is for the baby

At this point, it's go for it. And if a mothers fear here, is unchecked she will stop her labour. She will literally not believe it's possible and she'll abandon herself and her baby at this moment. The greatest gift you can give to a birthing mother is to tell her "No you are right on course, right on key, just keep going, we're here with you, find your baby, keep going, breath deeply now" ...and the best of course "You are doing the best birthing of any birthing I've ever seen!"

Fear questions come up between the surges "What's going to happen now? What's coming next? Will it just come out by itself?"

All these kinds of thoughts let you know the mother is:

* Not in her body, but in her head and running away
* Not following her body and trying to negotiate it with her intellect.
* not connected to the baby
* Probably in a lot of pain, because she's not in her body and not relaxed so the big muscles are starving for OXYGEN
* Needing emotional support
* Feeling hugely vulnerable
* Fearing for herself, not her child. Disconnected from her baby
* Not listening nor willing to listen to the team around her.
* Intervention may be required if she doesn't come to terms with her own mind, even in the short run, to complete the birth and if the medical model is sending her murmurs of doubt she will not regain her birth without their intervention.