Where to start…

Looking Back!

I remember when I was first pregnant I was pretty young, just 20, however, in those days, that was perfect timing, Married then pregnant. It seemed we were all in that mindset.

My body was young, strong and yet it wanted things its WAY! Within a few weeks of being pregnant, I was suddenly so tired!

Then the smells got to me! The smell of coffee, or bacon frying, any kind of greasy food and I was running for the bathroom.

I no longer wanted any kind of protein from any animal, bird or fish sources. Vegetables and some fruit, cheese and that was it. I was on pregnancy vitamins and told DO NOT GAIN WEIGHT.

Yes, those were the days! Our weight was monitored like a critical factor; we were not allowed to gain any more than 20 pounds with pregnancy and 20 was considered too much. I gained 18.

My body started to adjust itself to eating when it felt like it, and only from the food sources noted…no one really cared, other than don’t gain…we didn’t have ultrasounds or Gestational Diabetes tests; so hence when my first child was born at 8 pounds 11 ounces and I was weighed I was 17 pounds less than when I’d started the pregnancy! My body had been contributing to my infant’s development. Today we know better.

At that time there wasn’t a lot of information on pregnancy or birth models like we have today. In fact, the companies marketing Formula had installed themselves in most hospitals and integrated fully with the nursing staff. So much so, that they sent us home with a 6 pack of formula – Free!

No breastfeeding guidance, in fact, it was discouraged the most we got in the birthing room was an injection to dry up our milk. “Oh come now, you don’t want to be bothering with all that messy stuff now, do you? This way, others can help you feed the baby too”

They didn’t ask what my home situation was, I was heading home to my parents home, my husband was building our house, and working night shifts, my mother was dying with Pancreatic Cancer and I was the only one feeding the baby and doing a lot of other things too, like monitoring blood sugar levels, insulin injections, keeping the chart up to date for the doctors visits. Meals and keeping the house going, and dealing with the deep grief of knowing we were losing her PLUS up all night with a newborn.

My lovely little baby thrived and she spent many hours with my mother lying next to her…while I tended to the tasks of the house, meals for my mother and the family, it was a lot. My mother said she felt as the baby grew she was getting smaller, and indeed she was. She passed away just a few months after my daughter’s birth.

I know for some of you, your baby won’t even get that much time, as your mothers have already passed. For you I offer this awareness as you share your mother’s gene pool with your partner, she will live on in your little one. Same genes!

AND for an added insight, as your mother birthed you, your some 200,000 eggs were there within you at the moment of birth. So those eggs were for a time, within your mother too. Like the Russian Dolls, our mothers are not very far away from our moments – especially the big ones! She’ll be there with you and she’ll be there in your infant’s eyes, hair colour, fingernails, she’s there looking back at you.

My Birth had Zero Prep

My doctor had given me a very small grey covered book about “Reproduction” about 50 pages in length that offered a vague reference to body parts. That was it! Hmmm.

With my mother ill during the pregnancy I had not asked her any questions and my two older sisters who had children – had terrible birth experiences so they didn’t want to chat about it at all. They didn’t breastfeed either, and while neither had C-Sections (it wasn’t savvy then) they had long, painful and difficult deliveries.

We’d been working at our new house and I’d carried some 200 gallons of paint into the house that day, so I was pretty tired and had some consistent low back pain that evening. Mom was in the hospital, so we headed home and I had a bath to which my father suddenly realized I was heading into labour! He said to me – Don’t get in the bath, just don’t,- time to go to the hospital. I was barely in labour and laughing now, I know it would have been ok to remain at home for another day, and rest however, off we went.

The labour felt long, hard, and threatening. We didn’t do “doula’s” Midwives were something foreign and only available in the UK. There always seemed to be something wrong, and I was the cause or culprit. If I was sleeping or resting, they woke me “what are you doing sleeping, you are supposed to be having a baby”

And up I would have to get and walk around the room for hours. After 60 hours of this, finally baby arrived, with forceps and an epidural.

This was early days for epidurals – and business as usual with forceps delivery; they only administered the epidural once you are 10 cm and on the delivery table. And it was near to impossible to remain still enough to allow the needle to be inserted between the surges. It was amazing when it finally took hold, however! Yes, a long and messy episiotomy too.

By the time it was all over, I was black and blue and remained in the hospital for 10 days! I didn’t see my newborn who had been over this rough terrain with me, for another 24 hours, as it was a Catholic hospital and we birthed on a Saturday Night.  No babies until Monday morning

She was finally introduced to me at the 8 am feeding on Monday morning for 20 minutes. They hadn’t started “rooming in” yet when I think of it, it was pretty brutal. However, not as harsh as my mothers day, when they used to drug the mothers so much they wouldn’t wake for 2 -3 days. What happened to us little ones during those times?

I wondered where had my infant been all this time? Did she know me? It was so foreign to suddenly be meeting this little one, and she was mine? the two of us met for the first time not knowing that the time between wasn’t completely normal

It was normal for the times. That’s the way it all went and we had little say in any of it. I remember looking at the girl in the bed next to me, sitting cross-legged the first morning after birthing, and wondering – how is she doing that? For me, I was in agony!

Pre-Birth Health Considerations and optimization:

It was some years ago now, I was privileged to find myself birthing with a number of Naturopath students. One had come to me and now referred me to the rest of her companions. We had 11 ND Births that year. I too wondered what was in their water?

Each ND, however, shared her Pre-Birth strategy and I think it’s such a good one I wanted to write about it here. They also advised that this super clean health focus and cleansing the body and cells prior to getting pregnant ensured when they actually got pregnant their body was in optimal health as would be their eggs!

First, when they decided they were going to get pregnant, they put themselves on 6 months cleanse of the “system” before even starting the pregnancy

This included healthy cleansing – not the kind you buy in a kit today.

They used green juices and healthy vitamins and natural teas to cleanse, heal and remove toxins from their body.

Especially the Liver, Kidney and Intestinal track, lower colon which sits very close to the reproductive organs.

This ultimately clears and cleanses the whole system, and you don’t want to do this like Speed Dating. You want to allow time and the gentle removal of toxins consistently to work.

What they also removed from their diets was interesting:

Caffeine – from tea, coffee and chocolate
All Sugars from non-natural sources
Most restricted the use of glutens and moved towards rice as their carb of choice
Oats and grains were important, so were beans and dark greens.
Zero Alcohol or smoking (none smoked anyway, however, they liked beer and wine, that subsided during this 6 months before too)
Milk was not part of their diet at all; instead, they used the nut milk available today

They ate 6-10 small meals a day, balancing fruit with proteins so as to maintain good blood sugar levels.
Lots of water, naps and listening to their body’s needs
They took high-grade Pregnancy Vitamins and supplements for the whole of the 6 months prior

Then the most shocking part of all of this?

They put their husbands on the same dietary cleanse and foods for the same period of time. WHAT? Did he do it?

Yes, you want a baby with me, I want my baby to have optimal sperm! You are either in this with me, or you are not interested in having a child with me!

Ultimately this was the outcome:

1: They all became pregnant when they wanted to
2: Their infants were all, healthy weights and good APGAR Scores
3: They gained weight during the pregnancy, however, held primarily to the foods they had eaten during the cleanse
4: Many birthed in-home water births with midwives
5: Births we deliciously on time, within 7- 10 hours of starting
most managing the whole pregnancy experience with gentle sounds and support of those they chose to have with them
6: Very few of them had to change strategies mid-birth and go to the hospital, in fact, there was only one that did, and that was primarily because her “birth space” at home was pretty busy with parents and family all showing up at the same time.
7: One C-Section occurred when the week before the birth the baby rotated into a full breach with head up and bum down, and she would not turn

This taught all the powerful skill of the Positive Reframe. We reframed the whole experience for mom and dad and baby was born in just under 20 minutes in a C-section

What I might share about this group of women and their partners,

They trusted their bodies, they trusted their partners in life and they had remained focused on what they wanted.

Both parents committed to the process and both brought their A game

Challenges to become pregnant:

Many women today are opting to wait longer before becoming pregnant, certainly longer than I did. At 20 we barely know who we are; never mind taking on responsibility for another’s life, and yet, this was the way of it not too many years ago. Certainly, before birth control, women had less choice in this matter.

Because we have the choice today, it’s creating this challenge around waiting until we get everything done, to become pregnant

Today we are into school, degrees, high-stress jobs, then adding to this, the lifestyle that goes with this and the foods and beverages we consume.

Does our body ever get really clear from the internal debris in a three week cleanse?

And then there is the whole stress and tension, the lack of sleep, the issues around releasing our jobs and what we will come back to?

For many women in leadership roles, it’s a completely engineered task and that becomes challenging too. When is the optimal moment? And now we have gone past that, what next?

It’s a lot for women today, however, that said we can still bring our A-Game to the conception side of this and give our bodies and our partners the same “housecleaning” before we start.

Of course, during the pregnancy, it’s just optimum to keep feeding your body and your newly forming infant with the highest frequency of food sources and vitamins and minerals.

Some mothers will say to me “yes I have pregnancy vitamins” however, they are from one of the lowest and cheapest manufacturers of vitamins. It’s only 9 months; your baby deserves the best start so opt for the best.

Health Issues that can arise:

Because we can measure and monitor everything these days, it’s best to be really conscious about what you are doing when going for various tests. Many women don’t really think about the outcome of these tests.

One client I had was in the habit of each morning consuming an extra large Tim Horton’s Iced Cap. Well her Gestational Diabetes test shot through the roof when she went for her appointment. She just didn’t think about the connection to the outcome. Her blood sugars were through the roof.

If you have been eating a lot of fruit or giving into your cravings for sweets during your pregnancy you might be moving toward Gestational Diabetes.

This is totally preventable with proper nutrition, and eating 6 small meals a day, balancing your diet with proteins – these help keep you balanced and your blood sugar in check.

Why is this important? Medically it can affect your infant to have blood sugars too high in the system. She /he could develop diabetes later in their lives. So could you.

Just know, it’s not fun. It’s really challenging to monitor and keep your blood sugars balanced and with children, it’s really hard for them.

Before your Gestational Diabetes tests – ensure you have had a week of Good Eating habits, cut back on the fruits and ensure you are eating enough proteins at each meal.

This will ensure you are on task with this test.

Pregnancy for a woman can seem like a non-issue in our twenties, lots of time.
The thirties too, then suddenly time is slipping past, and getting pregnant can become challenging.

Clearing and cleansing the body before and maintaining good habits during, is just the best start to life you can offer your little ones.

Start there, and if challenges arise for you, come see me, I have a program called Hypno-fertility and we can work through what might be getting in your way!

Contact me if you have questions: 604-421-1722 or send me an email!

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD, ANXIETY & Phobia’s – we can help you

Hypnosis and NLP really help us relieve unnecessary fears, tension and worry!

Hypnotherapy and NLP

Anxiety & excessive fears can affect you!
Anxiety is one of those words that can mean so many things to different people. This page will lead you to more specific pages on problems associated with anxiety. Some are physical symptoms of anxiety such as excessive blushing, excessive sweating and panic attacks. Additionally, we work with various contexts for anxiety such as exam nerves and being worried about interviews and wedding nerves. Each will give you information about the feelings associated with anxiety such as lack of confidence, guilt, loneliness, procrastination, shyness and stress. There can be a large overlap between these issues.

How we can help various forms of ‘anxiety’.

• Anxiety Disorder – we give treatment for the variations of general anxiety disorder. We work to discover how and when anxiety occurs for you and retrain your thinking so that you become calmer and more resourceful.

• Blushing –
treatment for excessive blushing with hypnotherapy and NLP. This is one of the most common conditions that we treat. This is another example of a problem that gets worse the more you think about it, a kind of self-fulfilling prophesy that can often be re-conditioned very quickly.

• Confidence –
You can gain self-confidence in whatever area of your life you need it. Whether you call it self confidence or self-esteem, we train you to think differently, more usefully, and more positively.

• Exam Nerves –
We train your mind to begin coping and feeling resourceful well before you take the examination. The treatment is also useful to assist you in your ability to study effectively. If you have been one of those people who has continually underperformed in exams due to exam stress, then we can help you.

• Excessive Sweating –
Very often, the less you worry about excessive sweating, the less you sweat. Hyperhidrosis is therefore treatable to the extent that your anxiety about sweating too much is programming you in such a way as to make the problem worse.

• Guilt – There are a truly vast variety of ways that excessive guilt can manifest itself to the point of having a continued and negative effect on someone’s life. We help you to learn from the past, let it go and move forward in your life.

• Interview Nerves –
Being cool, calm and collected is a state of mind that can be learned. We help you to condition your neurology to more automatically go into resourceful states during interviews, and we train you to stop worrying about your interview in advance

• Loneliness –
Feelings of isolation are not necessarily connected with the proximity of other people. Many people experience extreme loneliness even when surrounded by crowds of others.

• Panic Attacks –
Treatment for panic attacks (anxiety attacks). These attacks are usually, although not always, happening in a certain context, in other words, they occur in certain circumstances. Even when there is no full-blown panic attack, the fear of having one – pre-anxiety- can be debilitating in and of itself.

• Procrastination –
A person who procrastinates to the point of realizing they need help is probably ‘putting things off’ in very many areas of their life.

• Shyness – Social Anxiety
Shyness, sometimes given the label ‘social anxiety’, can be a crippling condition – isolating the person from society and preventing them from finding a partner and finding a job, or getting a better job. It CAN be overcome.

• Stress Management –
‘Stress Management’ is the expression often used by people who offer tools to help you feel less stressed and to cope with stressful feelings as they arise.

• Stress Relief For Care Givers, People looking after a friend or relative with conditions that can be debilitating such as Alzheimer’s, cancer and other conditions, often find themselves living their lives with little or no time for themselves.

• Wedding Nerves – Banish wedding nerves and have the best day of your life.

• ‘Releasing Fear’ by Kathy Welter Nichols Brilliant CD/MP3 to deal with fear – Contact me here for purchase of the MP3

Generally, I see clients 3-4 times to resolve Anxiety and Panic Attacks. Contact me here for more details.

We can help contact us here.


We are not victims without our permission

A Channel from Ishtar, responding to my question about what we are witnessing in the rise of the Divine Feminine Energy :

“With the  issues from Trump and these recent discussions and displays of disregard and disrespect for women, and how it is activating women almost creating a polarization of the masculine and feminine again, certainly evident in both men and women’s behaviours… how do we move through this at this time? how do women let go of all this so we can move through this? We are not victims without our permission.” 

“This is a very powerful question, and a real issue, as said, a catalyst for our times. For what is fascinating with this question and the energy around gender, is that its sitting within a bigger energy  a bigger construct within the masculine and feminine.

We are moving from a masculine energy dominated frame work and structure, and this  isn’t just about males,  although historically that may seem how it is, we are currently literally in an energetic masculine construct. Everyone knows, both males and females, however,  in their gender representations,  have aspects of the masculine and feminine within them. And there is this feminine energy that for a very long period of time,  has been brought down, has been suppressed, and this is not just about females it’s about the decline of the balanced feminine energy, for when one looks at it in an ascended consciousness, once again back to the unified field energy, if you have a predominance of masculine energy and the suppression of the feminine energy, within a unified field, which is the ascension consciousness; they both have to be of equal energetic vibration.

So when we say, the rise of the divine feminine, this is not bringing forth the feminine energy as you have seen in the many decades past, where women are gaining power through the embodiment of a masculine model, so they could be heard.

This is around the rise of this energy to bring it into balance. It’s not one where the feminine gains power over the masculine and suppresses the masculine. We are not looking at  a time where they  flip flop, however, the feminine needs to be in  the rise as a balancing force,  so  that ALL of humanity can vibrate at their fullest with both male and female energy  balancing at it’s highest frequency. For if you look at the male and female masculine and feminine within the totality, the greatest frequency is there for the benefit of all humanity.when both are equally available not too much of one, and not enough of the other.

So these recent episodes brought out in the question, are there creating an expanded awareness, like striking a match, where you can’t go back to the unknowingness  of this there are things there that are so obvious now,  creating a massive awareness and understanding for many men who very much support the rise of the feminine energy. This is not a gender war, it’s about a re-balancing of energies, and what better way to do this, than bring the things that have been suppressed,  that have been hidden, that have been marginalized out into the open for awareness is the catalyst of change, until there is awareness – no matter what it is, nothing can change. So whether the awareness comes from noticing there is a rock in your shoe, and it hurts, until you look inside and see, you can’t change anything until you take your shoe off and see there is a rock there and remove it, now you can change it.

And these are examples of much larger examples of catalysts that have come up right now, for change. The outpouring that has come up right now, is bringing awareness to the inequality of the energy is profound. It’s profound, it’s rippling through the consciousness, so that the Collective Consciousness does not stay the same. It lost it’s elasticity it’s getting stretched beyond the container it’s being held in., if you will. And these are good things. Does it come about from a shocking point of view? yes it does, the ripple out effect is so profound it will not be forgotten again, and energetically it up-levels everything to the next level the next octave. in terms of living in a balanced energy, it will not be marginalized or suppressed again.

And we will say remember you are in either a female or male physical form, remember its just the code of arms you are wearing in this lifetime, however, remember there are many lifetimes, where you switched sides, where you lived as male or female  in physical form, where you might have been the oppressor or the suppressed one, where you had power over, or where powered over others. So this is not about the rightness or wrongness of males and females in their gender roles, endeavour not to limit this time to mere human experiences in their roles over many lifetimes, this is a profound rebalancing of the feminine energy.so that they come into balance, not flipping one upside down again.

It’s so important and it’s required in the ascension process.  (End of Channel)

Recalibrating:

We might reconsider our part in this now, if we take a second perspective, what if we have indeed been in these other positions?  The rebalancing of this feminine energy within us, as humans, is necessary, it’s time to recognize we cannot go back to an “us and them” mentality, in fact we have all played all roles at different times, both using power and abusing power over others (without even considering the concept of other lifetimes- yes even in this one). What needs awareness now, is the consciousness that this is shifting and we are at a choice point, do we assist, rather than resist? Can we find ways to forgive each other and self. find ways to release oneself from the frequency of judgement and allow the flow of that awareness to help uplift the whole of the Consciousness, as we embrace this “Oneness” ?

This awakening in the feminine is not just coming through women, it’s there in our male counterparts, for they too have long suppressed their own feminine and lost touch with the connection to their own  deep inner goddess within.

We are being asked to participate and partake every day, in every way. All we can do, is do our best, learn from our miss-takes, do them over again,  and refrain from pretending we’ve never treated another in the way we may have felt we’ve been treated. Fall into your humanity, and embrace it with humility and reverence. We are all gifts unto each other, teachers of this divine principal that is now making itself known, uplifting us so that we might all return unto the Oneness.

 

 

 

 

Women are taking a stand…

Historically we were encouraged to duck and dive the challenges across the male/female divide. At home, girls are raised to follow their mothers behaviour and instruction from their fathers. If discussion and argument are prohibitive, if shouting and powering over was the “normal” then girls learned to placate and please and be nice and develop the ability to “read” the situation for its potential danger. Better to tuck under and placate then risk greater punitive challenges.
In the recent article BY 
Many authors offer commentary on the abuse of power in the world of Art, Theatre, Music however, I

really, believe we need to talk about sexual harassment in every area of our Culture:  politics, health care, education, science, medicine, research, film and theatre… I cannot think of one area of our culture that doesn’t have this associated with it. I feel as women we need to stop making “nice” with it, and call it what it is.

 Recently in our Meditation The Way of Effortless group, three young women shared things experienced in this past week, sharing there experiences and what they chose to do about it, here: 
The 1st one: She had just had her hair done and feeling joyful and delighted with how she looked, she was walking down the street in Vancouver, when an older man approached her on the street, and said “Nice” and winked at her. Instantly she rejected his comments.  She turned and quietly said in a very steady voice “I did not ask your opinion” She turned and walked away.
 (she didn’t do the usual, accept his “compliment” uninvited as it was, and then try to make NICE with it and ensure he felt complimented back by his comment)
She felt fully empowered and yet needed some assurances too, as this was certainly “not a normal thing to do” sharing she had never done this before.

The  2nd one : She was walking back to her office and felt a man FOLLOWING her, entering into her building she saw him come in with her. When she got on the elevator, she had such a strong feeling she had to do something, even though there was a  group of others in the elevator, as she entered it,  he did as well. She suddenly stopped pushed the door OPEN button and got out, HOLDING the elevator door, she held her hand up in the STOP position and asked him to get out. She then said to him, “stay right where you are, I’m calling security”, stepping back into the elevator she  called security as the door closed leaving him there in the lobby. Others in the elevator with her where shocked, and she felt she had saved him getting to other floors where he might have done something. Listening to her intuition and the strong feelings within, she stepped beyond her comfort zone and took action. 

The  3rd one:  The woman was on a dating site, when the emailer started referring to sexual actions and she said to him “Excuse me?” in the text response,  He responded with “well what do you expect” she responded “to be treated with respect” and deleted his account. 

 NONE of the women were upset, they just acted with volition in the moment. They took their power and said NO. 
When we are in fear, of losing our jobs, losing the part, threatened outside our comfort zones, there have been times where we stopped and just let it go, pretend it was not feeling like it was really feeling, that pressed down, panicky feeling wondering what’s going to happen next. And often when the thing passed without anything further happening – it was like a “lucky break” so I won’t talk about it, I won’t complain, I’m just so glad nothing bad happened.
And yes, even when bad things do happen, we fear retribution and tuck under and just hope it never happens again.

This is abuse of power, it’s no difference in the church, or any other place where some have an inaccurate belief they hold power over others.

In the past women learned to make light of the issue and just get past it, however, when we do that, we create issues for ourselves in our beliefs around who we are, and what our real power and purpose are. We are not here to subjugate ourselves for anyone, especially when forced.
In the case of Sexual Harassment  for anyone (because men get it too) it is not very far off bullying,  this powering over – because they can.
Make no mistake, this “locker room talk” is not about sex, it’s objectifying women “I have power over you, and I’m going to show you just how much.” It assumes a weaker person will give in, under the pressure to the one with perceived power, Like Jennifer Lawrence who agreed to a naked line up  and still remembers the feeling of  the degradation even now. That is a psychic rape. Anyone in a position of power over others, has a due diligence to take responsibility for that power, using it with care and service to the other. Just as parenting can draw out an abuse of power over the child, we as humans must rise above this base behaviour that creates a sick addiction to subjugating other humans.
There doesn’t have to be anger or charged hysteria. 
We can say no. In fact, No. is a complete sentence. 

What is your default state?


The interesting thing is most of us have a bad experience of authority growing up, usually it’s with our parents, then we have this with teachers, and eventually we have to come back to our genuine or authentic authority –eventually we grow up and stop whining about what we didn’t get and go get it for ourselves.

The scary thing is we actually can go get what we want. What we wanted all along. We can just go get that. And yet we can’t either. We get stopped.

When we walk the road we are supposed to walk, we have the opposite of civil authority, and we become in touch with authentic authority.

When a person is being authentic, they have authority. They are in their power. They don’t have to fight and argue, scream or go home and beat their chest and sob their pain away. They recognize who they are and they see who others are, and they accept what is in the moment.

Things can change, often they do. In fact, change is the only permanence we know

We get confused, so we don’t trust our own natural authority. When people fear not making a mistake, and fear being imperfect, we let others fill in the gap, we trust others with our truth, our sacredness, and we let them destroy it, or try to. Usually another that does this kind of thing is out of touch with their own sacredness.

Listen, it’s only money. If you put the money aside what are you really arguing about? He didn’t love me enough? If he didn’t that’s down to two things:

He didn’t love himself enough to start with and should never have been in relationship with any other human until he sorted that out in himself.

You didn’t love yourself enough to know that no one else can fill your love quota except you.  A person can tell you a million times they love you, if you don’t love yourself, you will reject it.

It’s not good enough love, it’s love that you don’t want, or like, it’s meaningless to you, it’s only physical, it was just about the money, it was a place to live, for a while I loved him…

No, you love, and it’s there forever. If it comes and goes like the sun behind a cloud does, then it wasn’t love, that might be friendship, affection, physical touch, even good kissing, but that’s not love. Love sticks around, it goes through hurt and pain and sadness, and it sticks. Love exists beyond pain. Love exists beyond the grave. If you get good love in a lifetime, it can change everything for you. And good love is not necessarily coming from the hot guy or the great looking chic. Often love starts out in friendship, caring, similarities, sharing, building core values in a relationship that begins to mean something. Then love grows – love for you in that relationship. When you love yourself through another, you can learn what that love would be like if it came through you. That kindness, that regard, that joyful connection. That’s love. And it will grow with care. Love only grows with care. Demanding and commanding love, is like asking the cloud to move on so you can own the suns rays.

Doesn’t work like that. Love grows when it’s tended, with care, dignity, kindness. Then love grows. If you are doing other in a relationship and wondering why it’s hard, argumentative, judgmental, and lacks kindness… then again, it’s not love.

Finding the dream of the self means tapping into our own genuine authority As we get closer to the self and the dream, we are in touch with our own genius, and this can be a painful place to hang out. Usually there is some wounding going on in there somewhere.  If we are in touch with our authentic self, we are in touch with our own personal healing. Healing what we need to heal – not what someone else judges us for and condemns us, telling us you need to go get that fixed – no I doesn’t’ work that way, You hold all your own answers, and if you don’t believe then just let someone try and help you heal. Or fix something, or point something out to you or correct your behavior, or ask for something different than you are giving them. Just let them try. I’d like a seat at that one, just to observe of course

When you change your life you change everyone around you. And most will resist your change unless they are changing too. Especially family.

And often they pretend they want you to stay the same, don’t change, but really most people are just focused on themselves about 99% of the time, and when you ask them, beg them to listen and help you with a problem – what are the delaying tactics you’ve witnessed?  Lets go get something to eat first, I need to use the bathroom, there’s the phone.. Just give me a minute…on it goes. So pay someone to listen to you, see if they really hear you, or are they working their own model of what you need to change too?  If you sense someone is envious, your gifts are becoming more pronounced, because there is a penetrating and damaging energy that can come in when you get in touch with your gifts. People don’t like it. Not really, because it flies in the face of what they are not doing. Sure go fly that plane, write a book, figure out a challenging process… say no once in a while and just see what happens.

You don’t have to explain anything, you don’t have to give your reasons, send notes, text others, you don’t have to do that. Did you know that? Its ok for you to just do what you are doing. If people ask, you can be responsive, or you can even tell them, “I’m working on myself right now I’ll let you know when I figure this out”. It doesn’t damage relationships… it does set boundaries and that is a healthy thing.

The self is not innocent the self is the union of opposites, the self is interested in experiences of all kinds, it’s not interested in playing perfect, or pretending there is a right or wrong, it craves experience in all its many forms.

We can act out the shadow side; we can see it in others, and in ourselves. Some pretty dark and disturbing stuff exists within the shadow nature of the self.

The normal boundaries maintained by the ego, keeping things separate, now collapse. When there are zero boundaries the shadow can swamp the ego. Now it’s let me out of here time. And that’s really not an option. I’ve had it on good authority, that if you leave unfinished work in this lifetime, no matter how hard it might seem to face this life, in this moment, if you opt to cut your work, apparently you just get to do it over. Either on that side or in a repeat performance in the next life. We never really get away with anything, no matter how mad we get, we have to deal with it. AND it’s been my experience if you avoid doing your work you just get to repeat the patterns enough times until you are saying to yourself, “hey haven’t I already been down this path several times? How come I’m here again?”

A healthy ego is needed to structure the energy. There is a slight difference that makes the self move towards the good, instead of the dark side.  It’s humanity that keeps the self in a positive state, or pretends it’s trying to be positive, all that discipline and gold star business when we are little kids.

They get us worked out fast, “want the treat? Ok, work hard then”… And it just carries on; want the guy? Work hard. Want the job? Work hard. Want the house? Work hard, want the … and we dig in, lets go get this one done; we know all about working hard to get something by the time we are two.

What is the de-fault state? What is the fault of the state you de-fault to? What state are you in daily when you are not pretending to be perfect, ok, up on everything? Who is the authentic you? Do you know?

The self, itself can manifest anything. It’s us that don’t want the negativity the authentic self can’t be wounded or damaged by anything. It’s eternal, it’s without ending.  The ego is the buffer and it knows it’s got a limited time line here. When the self is in the ferocious mode the ego steps in and keeps things in order. When all the stuff stops, and there is no one or nothing around you, what is the state you default to? Can you name it? Is it anxiety? Fear? Anger? Judgment? Who are you when you are just being yourself? Listen to yourself the next time you eavesdrop on your state, – are you criticizing others? Judging you, depressed, that’s a good one. What about obsessed or controlling? Powerless? Have you tried the state of ambivalence? There are so many choices, its really sad we kind of create the default state, and drop in there every time there is a pause in the play. Where did we go?

If you think of the other emotions, peace, love, joy, happiness… what about those states? Do you have to change your state to get into those states, or wait for something good to happen to motivate you towards those states?

Do you actually know what they feel like? If you felt one of those states, would you dismiss it? And return to what?

The faces on the temples are there to say, don’t come in here – unless you understand that the sacred is also the most deadly. Sacred and sacrifice are two sides of the same place.

The sacred always involves power, so we have to have authority when there is sacred around. A Move towards the sacred is the increase of  power and the shadow  activates the ego. The ego steps up its need for control and suppression because there is a lot of power moving around.

The increase of spirit is an increase in power. Imagination is the core power that increases the spirit  – Imagine yourself… with a new default state… what would it be? What would it look like, feel like, sound like? How would you know it was different? Can you maintain it ? What happens when it goes? What do you go back to?  Are you aware of who you are when you are not trying? Sometimes it’s exhausting isn’t it? Just trying to be… something

So there is a certain way along the path where you have to recognize it’s not ok to keep doing what you are doing. You can’t keep saying, “well I didn’t know”, because now you do know. Once you know you really can’t un-know it. It’s hard to set up these lies to ourselves, and then endeavour to maintain them, it’s gets really busy when this happens and takes a lot of extra effort to keep oneself out of the know, when you really do know.

This is the shadowy way of dealing with power.  This kind of authority is controlling, threatening, dangerous,

There is a danger of becoming the one that is guarding what is sacred – then you aren’t really close to the authentic power you are just maintaining the status quo, and protecting the sacred for everyone else. A sacrifice, remember I mentioned, it’s close to the sacred?

 

 

You have: Two ears, two eyes.

One eye sees what everyone is looking at and the other sees what is there.

One ear hears the conversation; the other ear hears what is not being said.

If you won’t see, and don’t want to listen, don’t want to feel…. The default state is ready and wiling, It entertains the ego and allows the “normal” default state to emerge.

Everyone has both language and sound within the sound combined with the image, and each person is here to connect to this, which is within them, and bring it forth. And it’s vital that you do so. And you won’t until you get in touch with your authentic power.

YOU are essential! Stop; telling yourself; you are not.

And …Everyone has this saboteur that stops and cancels it – this is the essence of the questions when we ask:

“What stops you from getting what you want?”  it’s the saboteur – and only you can do that to yourself. No one else can, you have to grant them access to your secrets, let them trash your sacredness, give over your power, diminish yourself, lay face down and let them walk over you… and only you can do this.

No one makes you do anything.  it’s all by choice, agreement and often a trade off to get something you thought you really wanted at the time, but later found out, it was one of those things that drops to the back of cupboard, and eventually goes out to the garage sale.

It was just some glitter, looked exciting, but then it really wasn’t what you thought it was going to be in the first place. Just a facsimile of the real thing. A faux version of it, but not the real one.

Dreams are the world trying to come through now.  Why stop them? They are the access point to your genius and it’s trying to reach you one half of every 24 hours. That’s a lot of dreaming.

The saboteur is the shadow self, the critic. Just about to get what I should be doing, and the critic comes up, and cancels it out. “oh maybe someone will object to what I say? Would they be upset with that? Someone could be offended? Would I hurt someone’s feelings if I spoke my truth?”

This is the shadow, and you need to be alert to the shadow and know that this is so, and how does this work inside me?

What triggers this in me?

The critic is the exaggerated sense of self, you can’t get rid of this, better to make peace with it, know it, and let it chew down on small things that can help you do better in areas you are sabotaging yourself. Like cleaning the toilette, sorting your paperwork, making the timely commitments etc.

The critic is useful  – it helps you get aware of the saboteur. Your parents gave you the internal saboteur, and their parents helped them out the same way. Essentially right now, most of us are dealing at least seven generations back with this stuff. You know the material:

Don’t get too big for your britcheswe know who you really are.     

Michael Meade,

Mastery of Deep Trance States

Mastery of Deep Trance States

“I had two experiences with Harry and Kathy, Shaman Inside and Deep Trance States. So I say THANK YOU again to Harry and Kathy for what they gave to me.”
Paola,   Italy 2010

“amazing, it changed my life”
AD, Vancouver 2013

“First, let me begin by saying how truly grateful and honoured I feel to have shared this most inspiring journey with you all.  More and more I am convinced that everything happens for a reason, and had I not been faced with these challenges and reached my breaking point, I would have never met you guys and made these wonderful discoveries and changes.  I am a new person now thanks to you.   I really felt loved and cared for.   Kathy, Thank you and Harry for this amazing experience!  You guys are the best! Much love” Desiree, Vancouver 2013

The emotional growth I attained myself in that very short space of time without an intention to do any personal work. I have learnt so much and forgiven so very much that I have come away with a new way of “being” in this world. I now find patience “effortless and easy”. After 24 hrs travelling it had its moments but I understood those emotions in that context. I now hold a view of the world that I can “be in the moment”. Most poignantly this shows with my children my answer is it was worth significantly more. I would happily pay at least three times over. The decision to put my fears and worries aside to do this was without doubt one of the better decisions of my life. Thank-you.

Ann-Maree Starr, Australia

Clinical Hypnotherapist, BA, BSW

Money Money Money

The journey is ever unfolding, and the experiences now, bring to your own awareness much of the learning and teachings that you have been through this lifetime as well as many others, heightening this moment of awareness, and focused participation in your own journey.

There can be a selfless excitement about the journey, at all costs, everything becomes subjugated to the journey itself, but this again is a polarity and you must bring this back to balance, for it means  there is  nothing to roar through the experience and never integrate it fully, time, process, moving with slowness so you can savour every droplet allows for the experience to fully integrate.

Many of the processes out there today, individuals endeavour to make a drive through weekend experience. And humanity is capable of this, however,  it also deprives the experience of the individual,  the opportunity for integration.  Instead it’s a stamp in a passport , I’ve been there and done that, and it’s not integrated, the experiences  are in the savouring of awareness.

As we apply this thinking to 5th Dimensional Thinking :

This is abstract in theory, and yet it works effortlessly, and almost without thought, beyond thought, in fact thought stops the process.

Manifesting, and fifth dimensional thinking, focus and clarity, so you may manifest that which you seek to do, using 5th dimensional consciousness as an altered state, and as was given to you, in the non-physical realms and accessible in the 3rd dimension.

The fifth dimension, opens a stream of awareness, and this information has now been shared through many in this hierarchy of knowledge and yet it resonates best if you understand the process through the geometric patterns forming a consciousness unto themselves as well.

Chi: is the totality of the vibration of Chi – it resonates in the 5 dimensional point, the essence of chi is the life force, in the 4th dimension, there is the potential for moving beyond oneself through the 5th dimension, made available and innocently enough and many working with 5th dimensional thinking on a day to day basis.

Altering time is a co-creative of 5th dimensional process, in this dimension, time is irrelevant to process and function, yes therefore not bound by the same rules, or limitations as you would experience in the 3rd dimension.

Bring yourself fully to the gateway of knowing that knowing shifts the 4th dimension and is the 5th dimension gateway that brings it to manifestation.

When you apply focus and intention and co-create with another, the application of the 5th dimension is the spark that ignites and manifests and creates the knowing, that this to shall come to pass, it will occur, and knowing, is different from believing.

Knowing changes or shifts your consciousness from one state to another;  desiring, observing,  constant monitoring, and shifts to seeing yourself in it, or with it; and now the event is complete. Knowing is completely different from believing, a different vibration is held within the body. Knowing is the manifestation encapsulated before the event occurs, and there is no need to monitor, observe, seek or pretend an unnecessary anxiety that collapses the possibility. This is the back and forth of the create/cancel recipe. And knowing the power of polarity in consciousness, you can cancel creations of the mind.

Down to the simplest format: the parking spot, and see yourself driving around, chasing, and feeling “I have to have a parking spot” as you shift from this state of wanting, desired, and feeling hopelessly disempowered and beating yourself up with comments like “why didn’t I leave earlier, I’m going to be late again”  to seeing yourself in the inside at the meeting …and the parking spot opens up. Almost magically you are in the meeting and you look at the time, and you are actually a few minutes early.

It’s how to navigate busy traffic, while on your way to catch a plane, and all time, would tell you, you cannot possibly make that flight and you are still in traffic and should be at the gate, and you know it’s impossible to make that flight, and you shift your fear, and consciousness, from that state to the state of being on the plane and buckling up in your seat.

There is too much ground to cover, but knowing you will make that flight, changes all the dynamics of time. As you change the dynamics of time, and bring it into a known awareness that you will make that flight and project yourself onto the plane, you will, essentially, stop time, and you will make the flight. You may even find yourself at the gate before they begin boarding the plane.

A moment of physics, because you know that time could not be stopped on the planet, it’s an ever moving structure of consciousness and yet what says you cannot move faster through time than time is moving? You’ve only to think of the problems in a different context, and quickly it shifts.

Another example of thought disabling your ability to manifest the desired outcome: 

If you have a static state within you, that rejects the trappings of money and finance, if it stops you in the play and you reject it, within your own entrainment with belief strategies and structures, I am not good with money, I miss-manage money, I never have enough money, I never will have enough money, I don’t think about money correctly, I have a fear of accumulating money, I never get ahead, rich people are not spiritual, rich people are criminal,

Any of these beliefs serve to help your knowing that money (currency) is best left to others. So you can tag yourself to someone with money and enjoy the benefits of their money, and then maintain your strategy that I do not do well with money, I have no money, and struggle within the confines of that awareness.

Affirmations won’t change beliefs

If this is something you truly want to change, you must start with the core and work up, affirmations at this level simply do not work. For the very reason that the most innate part of you has already rejected the core strategy. There are people on the planet that Only have to think about the money and it’s there, and they have no qualms about accepting the funds and working with it, utilizing it, and using it to make more money. They are not in guilt, shame or trying to give it all away as quickly as it comes to them. They are not fearful of what others think of them, and most profoundly they do not harbour inner miss-matched energy that would cause them to toss the money aside should it ever arrive at their door in sheer terror of what that might mean to their core values and beliefs.

They just receive it, store it retain it. They have an inner belief system that is connected to the experience of receiving these funds in the past, and managing quite well with them. They can stop playing games of bringing money, only to have it hit against the flow of currency being rejected.

This is 5th dimensional thinking in full awareness.

A person operates in their world, with a belief that anger is effective, so they hide it because it was beaten out of them, so their first reaction is to reach for anger, and then endeavour to make that the result of someone else’s behaviour . Their first reaction was to reach for anger, it’s effective, but I must hide it, because it was beaten out of me, and I should not use anger. So they are caught, and they are in a never ending wound.

You seek to manifest a great deal of money, clearing the house at the base  of these beliefs is critical, a metaphor. You must clear out the thinking patterns that are contrary to your desires, otherwise you sit and rage and rant and complain, however, if you place your focus on earning a lot of money quickly how could it not come to pass?

There is more currency available now, and people just keep creating more, more strategies to get people to give them their money. There is enough, just what do you believe? What do you tell yourself? What do you maintain as your strategy for receiving and giving?

Just open your hands and declare I’m willing to receive. in avalanches of abundance.  

What if you want to add in:  in the highest and best way for me, and honest way, and I want to be able to part take and utilize the money? What if you add My Money? What if you add in only…under what circumstances? Would you say these are limitations to creating? 

When this operates, it’s only a time when it will be coming to you, and notice there are no adjectives around hard work, earning it, educational requirements that’s all the trappings of the beliefs, that others support, otherwise you are not entitled to have the money, and have fun with the money, and enjoy the money instead you will hoard, or regret, or refuse to spend the money. You will not have fun, you will instead be one of the people that complains daily about what a challenge it is to have money and how hard it is to have so much money and how much work it is to have this much money…

None of it is true. Money is changing hands all the time, as an energy, as a currency, you are part of the flow, whether you want to be or not. So form the 4th dimension, place your focus on the co creativity of financial success, and paying off debt, securing what you have and having the funds to what you want.

You don’t have to have some project or some form of work to do all that, you just simply have to be clear about what you are creating and what you will receive. If it hits into this secondary belief system, that rejects funds, refuses funds, doesn’t feel good about funds, without hard work, without sharing, without spending wisely, without all the rules of having money, then that becomes an exercise in futility, because money comes to you, and you give it away, and the deeper values and beliefs are affirmed, you prefer to live moment to moment, without money, and look how well I’m doing that.

You prefer to live in the struggle, rather than in the flow of the currency and allowing it to flow to you, to make it easy for you to enjoy your life, be relaxed in your life and step into your life, without having to explain to anyone, because no one cares,

That success will bare itself. You can have it in your mind the numbers you want in your bank account, and you can begin to manifest this. So your new strategy is to examine where you spend your money to give it away, to people for things that clog up my mind, clog up my house, interrupt my flow, cause me to stay in poverty and be under the burden of great debt.

This continues this flow of consciousness. Stop time, practice there, it’s effortless, become vigilant with exercising the thoughts which increase the flow of currency into your accounts, talk in ways that increase funds, when people offer things for you to do, accept it right away. Say yes.

Just as you have in the past few times. “no I will do it this way” and other person is coming in with their comment ? and you created it. The more you do it, the more evidence you build, the skill you build, and the more you can say to many people to come and do the training.

One of the limitations practiced is that so long as we have money, there is no struggle, without the struggle, there is no motivation, so there is none to help you go to what you want. It’s part of the undermining to keep things in this tight function. It’s part of the 5th dimensional consciousness and you are already doing this, so getting clear about what you really want, and then get clear about how you stop yourself, is the critical component, and what you are trying to achieve with it, there is no sense in desiring to make the flight, and then thinking you won’t. You will indeed be stopped somehow, that’s how powerful your thoughts are.

There is no point to wanting money and then refusing to accept it once it is offered. Just say yes. It’s just energy.

If you opened to receive the amount of energy you hold in one single channel, and were ready to receive that amount of currency into your bank account, with no restrictions or limitations, you would experience vast wealth.

What stops you: Guilt, Shame, Explaining yourself? Having to give some to everyone? Sharing?

What stops you from just saying yes, and having a life of exchange with the flow of it all.

Stop pretending when you apply your thinking to this application you can shift your state of mind to something completely different, you can live in a world where everything is open and available to you, even if it’s not available  to others, because others may not want it. If they did they would manifest it too. 

You might be saying, but I wanted it, I did, I didn’t want the stress of living without funds,

But you did, because you manifested the stress not the money 

When you understand this your potential, indeed your birth right, these patterns shift with awareness dynamically. When you are in resistance to changing the way you see this, then it is your nature to enjoy the state you are already experiencing. You are enjoying everything you experience. If you decide to change it. Change your thinking, to one of knowing. Knowing it’s coming and stop playing games with delaying it and pretending its not there for you. Know it, see yourself in receipt of it, accept it, and be grateful that you figured this out.

This is the essences of Thought Models, as this is indeed 5th dimensional consciousness. Review what you think, because it will make you very uncomfortable to create something you do not want, and you  keep tripping yourself because it’s not in alignment with your beliefs. Its simply understanding the process.

 

 

My Birth My Way – HypnoBirthing and Birth Preparation

 Where to start with preparing for your birth experience?

There’s already a lot going on, including being tired, irritable, and feeling like you are definitely Not Yourself.

And how could you be, you have at least another human there within you, that seems to be utilizing a lot of your personal resources. There is so much to learn about this, and then there also isn’t, because having a baby, growing a baby, is really a subject women already have the technology to do, it’s there within you when you were born. All the skills and tools needed are there in your DNA, The weeks and months ahead as baby grows and develops, while you busy yourself with your life are really a classic example of just how much your body’s own technology and the new life within you, know just what to do, and in what order too.

Can you really relax this much about it? Well, yes, and yet, also no. Not quite so easy these days, with so many helpful resources available in the form of books, movies, literature, and oh yes the helpful advice from just about anyone you meet anywhere. They can all see you are having a baby. It’s hard to stay out of the line of fire, so here’s perhaps a helpful thing to remember if you get cornered by a helpful aunt with her worst case scenario stories; just remember, all new mothers have to use the bathroom A LOT. If you don’t like what you are hearing, just, look up, and say “Oh I have to …” and turn and go.

Everyone knows and it’s perfectly ok.

The majority of my tasks are affirming these very things to new parents, especially mothers. They are easily “entranced” with thoughts of food, and then open to all kinds of negative downloads. Often they forget these critical considerations:

  • Their doctor or midwife is monitoring everything. Yes, every little detail is measured, quantified, and analysis is complete
  • Their family members are studying the situation regularly and looking for any unusual anomalies, like dreams or food cravings
  • And then there is the literature, both online, in book stores, in the midwives offices, and even in my own library too!
  • And we’re all happy to lend and make available.

So what can a new mother really do during her pregnancy to really help herself prepare for this life shifting event?

Dr Odent’s notes here on my web page and you can view his wonderful Video – he just gives women such peace about their body and trusting their baby. AND I also wanted to include this wonderful article from a doctor to his client – it comes from another time – another decade, maybe even another century, yet it still rings very true and its helped many mothers achieve a relaxed pregnancy during our weeks together as we prepare for her birth experience.

First let me share what I do:

I am a clinical Hypnotherapist and NLP Licensed Trainer & Master Practitioner, DHE Specialist. I am a HypnoBirthing® Certified Child Care Educator. I’m also a Birth and Labour Coach and trained as a Doula.

I work with parents and have attended 100’s of   births in the past fifteen years… I’ve attended births in major hospitals, at home, and water births; with Midwives, MD’s & OB’s.   My personal mantra is “helping women get what they want”.

My other specialities are Bulimia & Eating Disorders,   Phobic cures, and a whole host of other areas of speciality which I work in.

Using NLP and the HypnoBirthing model I uncover these deep structures and assist a woman out of alignment and out of rapport with TV, MEDIA & negative priming from just about any source, so mothers come to believe in their body, themselves and their baby and have established clear’ pattern interruptions’ for those that would dissuade them otherwise

I detail the visual, auditory and feeling   experiences they will have and add to it, auditory MP3’s that guide the woman every step of the way, with a volume selection she has control of.

Accessing their own deeper structure I draw on personal strengths, illicit the areas of fear that are truly irrelevant to their individual births, because they have not happened to them yet! I teach them how to move out of rapport with anything that does not fit their inner image of that calm and peaceful birth. As care providers, we can all learn this process because it’s just technique! We’re doing it anyway and understanding the resultant effect of negative priming versus positive priming is what my program is all about.

In addition, because we live in a time when we have access to every kind of care and support we could want, I help parents embrace all choices. Of course, you want everything to go smoothly and without incident, and we have   professionals supporting your desires all the way. There is simply no need for a mother to feel she has failed her birth, or her child and risk challenging bonding just because she believed her birth was no perfect.   Let me just say, Every Birth Is Perfect. And today thankfully, we are able to choose and make possible that optimum experience for all parents. Assured and supported every step of the way.

In fact, it is now part of the “inclusive” language patterns being taught in the UK in the midwifery schools there, that the birth is without judgement about whether it’s natural or not. So mothers can feel relaxed with however the birth progresses, and not feel like they   have failed.

“My Birth, MY WAY” and whose way is it? It could be the birth of the baby? It could be the   birth of the mother? It can even come under the medical providers needs when they see evidence that things are not going   as they would like. All the way through a birth experience, that ability to remain flexible helps the parents make powerful choices. And we are in a time when a choice is available. Thankfully.

We’ve been missing a key ingredient in the birth model in the west today.

We’ve overlooked a very essential part of an individual’s deep structure: Their Beliefs!

And how does a woman get her beliefs about her birth?

  • What about the Father of the child? What does he believe about Birthing, about his role in the process? About becoming a father? About being there as support at the birth? The immediate family members, what do they believe about birthing? How do they influence the process?

NLP & Hypnosis,

“The experience of our doctors has shown that every woman who enters the delivery room can be helped by hypnosis to some degree at least, and in many of them, complete freedom from discomfort can be obtained. Some doctors report over 90% of their cases are successful using Hypnosis. Not every doctor has this high percentage but a large number of them do!”

  1. Elman – Hypnotherapy 1964,  Conditioning for Hypnotic Delivery & Surgery
  • Neuro – Nervous system through which experience is received and processed through the five senses.
  • Linguistic – Language and nonverbal communication systems through which neural representations are coded, ordered, and given meaning.
  • Programming – The ability to organize our communication and neurological systems to achieve specific desired goals and results.

Incorporated in 1982 the Society of NLP was founded by Dr. Richard Bandler. The Model of NLP however, was co-created by John Grinder, a linguist and Dr Bandler, and Frank Pucelik   together in the mid-late ’70s. They found there were a number of therapists and psychotherapists achieving exceptional results consistently however, not held in the same way by their peers who had taken the same training.

Something was different. They modelled, Virginia Satir, Fritz Perls, Milton Erickson and others, in doing so they found these individuals while achieving consistently excellent results with the clients, were unaware that they did anything special in their work. Interestingly, when gathered together, these individuals were likewise unimpressed with each other

Understanding how we organize the world “out there” into bits of information that we can utilize “in here” is the essential undertaking of NLP.

We know the five senses filter the billions of particles of data daily, filtering them through, generalizing, distorting, deleting and creating little acronyms of events that we can access easily later. Like tying your shoelaces. At 4 years old this was a challenge, at 7 you had it down, now it’s nothing you think of. Riding your bike, a struggle for balance, manoeuvrability, eye coordination at age 5, however now, it’s effortless. these are skills you have for your lifetime.

The brain functions in ways we might think are laborious and complicated, but it’s doing everything so fast we don’t experience anything other than the free flow of information. For example, our eyes see everything upside and reversed then the brain orders it and give us the correct images in the correct places.

Here’s another one: DON’T THINK OF A PURPLE GIRAFFE.

Exactly you have to First Think of it, in order to not think of it. So when people get frustrated with thinking the same thoughts, or not being able to stop thinking about something…telling them to not think about it, …is telling them to THINK ABOUT IT.

Enter Pattern Interruptions! Interrupt any brain pattern by simply THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE FOR MORE THAN 15 seconds. The internal argument ceases!

  • NLP May Be The Most Powerful Vehicle For  Change In Existence!” — Modern Psychology
  • NLP helps you find out what you want and how you can get what you want.
  • NLP teaches you to communicate more successfully and create the right climate for your birth.
  • NLP increases your sensitivity towards others body language and signals and teaches you to maintain good relationships with those close and not so close to you.
  • NLP opens doors to hidden resources, improves your ability to concentrate, your ability to learn and paves the way for excellence through positive priming and patterning

NLP changes your behaviour positively so that you can handle negative experiences and eliminate phobias, stress, guilty feelings and depression

Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder, asked themselves a simple but fascinating question: “What is it that makes the difference between somebody who is merely competent at any given skill, and somebody who excels at the same skill?”

Do you see the focus? Not on what can go wrong, but rather on what can go very right! Positive versus negative priming

I asked that same question when I had a first time, 39-year-old lawyer birthing her 7-pound daughter labouring at home for five hours and transporting to the hospital for birthing just an hour later. Her birthing time, from 4 cm to birth was under 6 hours. Intact perineum. She was up and about at home a day later, running up and down the stairs to her baby in the nursery.

This mother worked with me for 6 months beforehand, she had many fears and worries, her husband sceptical at first…her caseload was heavy preparing for her year of maternity leave. She had little time to exercise, little knowledge of how her very intelligent brain worked and just following the process we worked out together

    What are the chances focusing on what you want and how to get that is the very best way to achieve a powerful birth outcome?
    Why rehearse and prepare for the “worst case scenario” just in case? What if you don’t even know all the things that could go wrong and let your doctors, midwives and support teams deal with all that?

  • “It’s my job to inform you of all the things that can go wrong during birth. If I don’t inform you of every aspect and detail, then I haven’t done my job properly.” OB Intern to the woman at 4cm clinging to her husband’s arm.
  • “it appears there is little distinction between hypnosis and priming except that the latter occurs without the induction of “formal’ trance, or through the medium of well-crafted suggestions. The delivery of influential and potentially negative and harmful messages to the patient’s unconscious – whether or not they are intended by the speaker. Forcible or surreptitious “thought-changing” is popularly regarded as brainwashing. Commonly associated with extreme political groups and cults, heightened suggestibility is also known to be induced through trauma, fear and confusion.
  • The pre-requisites to successful thought-changing as identified by the late Margaret Thaler Singer: “Thoughts, values, behaviours, allegiances and beliefs may be substantially altered in conditions where the subject is deprived of his or her own: Clothing, familiar foods, timetable and sense of control. The effect is magnified substantially when the victim is exposed to, but often excluded by the use of a highly specialized language which everyone else seemingly is party to is required to capitulate and submit to the wisdom of a superior sacred science, is discouraged from asking questions or making objections, and is constantly aware that the perceived authorities have the power of life or death.” G. Thomson, Magic in Practice. There is something more at work here, the pregnant woman is also in an altered state, fractionation, the “in and out of deeper states” constantly for hours as her body moves her deeper and deeper into the labour process and she is open to suggestions at a very deep level of the unconscious.
  • The perception of stress can both trigger and regulate Allostatic load.
  • Psychological modulators are as follows:
  • Social Support/connectedness,
  • Sense of Control, Predictability, ritual
  • Outlook (optimistic vr. Pessimistic)
  • Ability to dissipate frustration.
  • Feeling you are in control of your work and personal life is one of the best predictors for a long and healthy life.Conversely feeling victimized by unpredictable forces outside of your control, can be a killer.
  • How much control does a birthing mother need?

Dave Elman wrote this in 1964…

He taught the doctors that worked with him what to say to the mothers so they could have this pain free, easy birth, he said :

“Address your mothers as follows;

I want to tell you about the benefits of relaxation. You know very well that if you were tense and I have to give you an injection you’d feel the entrance of that needle very sharply because of the fact that you were tense. But suppose you were relaxed and were absolutely and utterly relaxed. You can reach such a state of relaxation that you have no discomfort at all at the delivery time. When you are physically and mentally relaxed it is actually so easy to have a baby it’s actually true that in this state the contractions rather than being uncomfortable actually create a very pleasant sensation in your body.”

If a mother looks forward to the ordeal as described by her friends, the media or family, that having a baby is horrible, she looks forward to what’s she’s heard with fear and trepidation. And if I tell you all the descriptions of labour are false, all those terms and names keep a mothers attitude in the wrong state.

  • “There is only one thing that can prevent you from having an easy birth experience, despite all the work we do with you to prepare. Only one thing, a thing called fear!
  • At the time of birth you must be absolutely and totally free of fear and worry if you want to have your baby easily. We will have perfect results if you follow some simple instructions and keep fear and worry out of it” Dave Elman, 1964
  • Knowing what’s going to happen is as important as experiencing what is happening.
  • Our ability to predict successful outcomes, to pain or stressful situations helps us cope with the events themselves and manage them.
  • It’s not going to last forever
  • I can do this, just this one surge, and now this one surge, and this one…and finally there are more behind me than in front of me, and I’m almost there.
  • “It’s nearly over” creates the most hopeful expectation in a birthing mother!

So what if your doctor said to you: 

“I want you to practice relaxation, I want you to practice just what you have been doing here. Learn how to relax at home, so that when your baby comes, you will be all ready for it and feeling so wonderful during delivery and after delivery. Notice how that feeling of relaxation holds on and makes you say to yourself,

“Motherhood is going to be a glorious adventure for me. I’m going to love every minute of it”. And he goes on….

One of the benefits of relaxation practice is it shortens the labour period tremendously. It will shorten it almost miraculously. You’ll be so delighted because, with each surge, the surges will get more and more pleasant so by the last few surges you will actually find yourself smiling through them. And you’ll be saying to yourself that that surge is over I’m even closer to my birth, you’ll feel good, empowered, on top of your game.

You trust your body and it feels really good. You will meet your baby as soon as it’s born because you will be awake during the entire birth. After the birth you will be just as strong and empowered as you feel now, your strength will be complete, your feeling of well-being will be complete and you’ll recover so quickly much more so than ordinarily because this relaxation has served all this so well. Then when you begin to nurse you will find it so very easy and effortless, you’ll be speaking to others soon afterwards as you realize birth for you was really just terrific.

Another benefit is it reduces any of the sensations you might have during labour and allows them to pass through you easily and effortless like you would pass your hand through the water in a pool.

The sensations are shorter, the labour is shorter, and the wonderful miraculous part is because your muscles are so relaxed and open to releasing baby, your body does so without any lasting impact on muscles or tissues, and you are up and recovered easily within a few hours afterwards.”

This is what we do together, in our practice over the months before your birth. We practice relaxation.

We are now entering a new phase in humanity. At a very deep core level, we all get this….be kinder to each other.

  • Death is an illusion, so is separation and abandonment, however, we continue to feed ourselves regular instalments   of these unnecessary fear packets that reinforce our addictions to negative priming.
  • You can change your birth experience and prepare yourself for parenthood through positive priming and learning relaxation so   you too will be ready when your baby comes.
The process is just 5 sessions over as many weeks, and if you find yourself caught short for time, we’ve had good success over a weekend. Some parents have come to see me for the second and even third birth experiences because they sensed they could create something different. Where ever you find yourself in your birth experience, the work we do together will help you.  

The program includes use of my lending library, MP3s and handouts, as well as videos and home care recommendations and guidance for the very special father too! Contact me at 604-421-1722