Oprah Winfrey Quotes

Here are 25 Oprah Winfrey quotes you aren’t likely to forget:

  1. “You can have it all. Just not all at once.”
  2. “I would like to thank the people who’ve brought me those dark moments, when I felt most wounded, betrayed. You have been my greatest teachers.”
  3. “They say getting thin is the best revenge. Success is much better.”
  4. “I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint — and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.”
  5. “One of the hardest things in life to learn is which bridges to cross and which bridges to burn.”
  6. “It’s much easier for me to make major life, multimillion-dollar decisions than it is to decide on a carpet for my front porch. That’s the truth.”
  7. “Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did it or not.”
  8. “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”
  9. “If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.”
  10. “You don’t become what you want, you become what you believe.”
  11. “It makes no difference how many peaks you reach if there was no pleasure in the climb.”
  12. “Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different.”
  13. “So go ahead. Fall down. The world looks different from the ground.”
  14. “When people show you who they are … believe them!”
  15. “Dogs are my favourite role models … I want to love like a dog, with unabashed devotion and complete lack of concern about what people do for a living, how much money they have, or how much they weigh.”
  16. “Your calling isn’t something that somebody can tell you about. It’s what you feel. It is the thing that gives you juice.”
  17. “I was once afraid of people saying, ‘Who does she think she is?’ Now I have the courage to stand and say, ‘This is who I am.'”
  18. “The truth is that the naysayers in your life can never be fully satisfied. Whether you hide or shine, they’ll always feel threatened because they don’t believe they are enough.”
  19. “Wherever you are in your journey, I hope you, too, will keep encountering challenges. It is a blessing to be able to survive them, to be able to keep putting one foot in front of the other–to be in a position to make the climb up life’s mountain, knowing that the summit still lies ahead.”
  20. “It doesn’t matter who you are, where you come from. The ability to triumph begins with you — always.”
  21. “I still have my feet on the ground. I just wear better shoes.”
  22. “Even people who believe they deserve to be happy and have nice things often don’t feel worthy once they have them.”
  23. “I don’t want anyone who doesn’t want me.”
  24. “I know for sure that in the final analysis of our lives — when the to-do lists are no more, when the frenzy is finished when our e-mail inboxes are empty — the only thing that will have any lasting value is whether we’ve loved others and whether they’ve loved us.”
  25. “My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with.”

Little Sister and Grandmother

I loved this story! I think it’s one of the ones that inspire me daily! Perhaps its never been more prevalent than right now!

Where clouds meet Sky…there I am also

One day, Little sister was sitting with Grandmother gazing into the great reflecting mirror of the Milky Way, and Grandmother and she were looking at the current condition of the feminine on the planet of Earth. The little sister, chin in hand looking despondent. Grandmother looking perplexed.

Grandmother finally said “What can be the struggle? do these daughters not know they are creativity ? That I placed the creative continuum into their physical beings? It was never given for the purpose of a tool of exchange! It was never offered as something to be controlled, manipulated or subjugated! It is their DIVINE RIGHT!”

“I gave every female on the planet the blueprints in their DNA for creation, and it’s a part of their power!”

Little Sister beside Grandmothers knee said, “they don’t seem to get that do they?”

“No indeed, look at these young ones, they know who they are, but they are listening to all these descriptions of who they SHOULD be, and that’s just so they can be manipulated! They are so confused! They think their bodies are ugly? That if they all look the same, they will be accepted! Yet even the blades of grass that number in the trillions are all different! They don’t seem to see they are My own beautiful reflection in them, in My divine Mirror, they are the beauty of life unfolding, they are Me in My youthful bloom! And I am so delicately beautiful in this very soft stage of my evolution!

And look at these women that are to be mothers, filled with the full bloom of creation, why is there so much fear? They are fulfilling their divine purpose, the purpose that out of all others will give them a sense of completion and purpose and remind them of their divine will and power! And they are fearful and terrified and they tell each other the most atrocious stories and they believe those stories and they are hurting my new creations, I gave them these perfect birthing bodies so they would not fail them! 

And my young mothers, so fearful of being Me…of offering divine guidance to their little ones through Me. Afraid they will somehow do it wrong? Afraid to feed their little ones the milk I made flow through them? That their goddess milk is somehow flawed or imperfect for the child she grew from her own cells?

And My women that are stepping into their power as women in wholeness and completion in the knowledge of who they are…they seem so lost. So alone, no – so lonely. They have forgotten these are their power years. Their years to produce to fly to be Me in all My divinity! Create with a mad palette and love yourself in your feminine fullness!

They watch programs that create doubt and read books that make them long for some illusive happiness.

All the while, these daughters believe this is none of their doing, they were only seeking to be happy. And they do not know that seeking anything outside yourself is illusive at best…a fading illusion on the tapestry of a life.

And my ancient ones, the ones most close to my ancient heart, they are grieving for the loss of their youth, having lived in fear. They see their daughters & granddaughters choices and are powerless to guide them…and they slip into a dream drifting on a sea of endless forgotten memories…..”

Little Sister at Grandmothers knee sighed deeply and said, “Oh Grandmother whatever will we do?”

Then the little sister stood up and said, “Grandmother, what if I go and take this message to the Sisterhood, remind them of you, and of your ways and that you are here listening and seeing all they are doing and offering to help them, to call you into themselves when they need to, and remind them that they do have power, and how to keep that power and how to use it!”

“What if I take that knowledge there and tell them the Truth about who they really are?”

Grandmother said to little Sister, “Well it’s a big job for a tiny one like you”

They both gaze back upon the situation on Earth and sigh. Then Grandmother turns and says to little Sister, the most important words of her little light and life:

“Well, little one, if not you, then Who?”

Little Sister stood so tall beside the great knee of Grandmother and solemnly swore, “If I forget who I am, if I get lost and forget you, Grandmother, I’m going to say to you in the pretend darkness, come help me to remember you

And give me the courage to speak to my sisters about you and remind them of their power and who they really are, remember Grandmother I am only little and I will need you to come to me and remind me of my path if am getting lost in all that too.”

Grandmother nodded and whispered across Little Sisters heart a mantra the that would remind her when she most needed it, and that mantra was:

  “I AND THE MOTHER ARE AS ONE” 

Where to start…

Looking Back!

I remember when I was first pregnant I was pretty young, just 20, however, in those days, that was perfect timing, Married then pregnant. It seemed we were all in that mindset.

My body was young, strong and yet it wanted things its WAY! Within a few weeks of being pregnant, I was suddenly so tired!

Then the smells got to me! The smell of coffee, or bacon frying, any kind of greasy food and I was running for the bathroom.

I no longer wanted any kind of protein from any animal, bird or fish sources. Vegetables and some fruit, cheese and that was it. I was on pregnancy vitamins and told DO NOT GAIN WEIGHT.

Yes, those were the days! Our weight was monitored like a critical factor; we were not allowed to gain any more than 20 pounds with pregnancy and 20 was considered too much. I gained 18.

My body started to adjust itself to eating when it felt like it, and only from the food sources noted…no one really cared, other than don’t gain…we didn’t have ultrasounds or Gestational Diabetes tests; so hence when my first child was born at 8 pounds 11 ounces and I was weighed I was 17 pounds less than when I’d started the pregnancy! My body had been contributing to my infant’s development. Today we know better.

At that time there wasn’t a lot of information on pregnancy or birth models like we have today. In fact, the companies marketing Formula had installed themselves in most hospitals and integrated fully with the nursing staff. So much so, that they sent us home with a 6 pack of formula – Free!

No breastfeeding guidance, in fact, it was discouraged the most we got in the birthing room was an injection to dry up our milk. “Oh come now, you don’t want to be bothering with all that messy stuff now, do you? This way, others can help you feed the baby too”

They didn’t ask what my home situation was, I was heading home to my parents home, my husband was building our house, and working night shifts, my mother was dying with Pancreatic Cancer and I was the only one feeding the baby and doing a lot of other things too, like monitoring blood sugar levels, insulin injections, keeping the chart up to date for the doctors visits. Meals and keeping the house going, and dealing with the deep grief of knowing we were losing her PLUS up all night with a newborn.

My lovely little baby thrived and she spent many hours with my mother lying next to her…while I tended to the tasks of the house, meals for my mother and the family, it was a lot. My mother said she felt as the baby grew she was getting smaller, and indeed she was. She passed away just a few months after my daughter’s birth.

I know for some of you, your baby won’t even get that much time, as your mothers have already passed. For you I offer this awareness as you share your mother’s gene pool with your partner, she will live on in your little one. Same genes!

AND for an added insight, as your mother birthed you, your some 200,000 eggs were there within you at the moment of birth. So those eggs were for a time, within your mother too. Like the Russian Dolls, our mothers are not very far away from our moments – especially the big ones! She’ll be there with you and she’ll be there in your infant’s eyes, hair colour, fingernails, she’s there looking back at you.

My Birth had Zero Prep

My doctor had given me a very small grey covered book about “Reproduction” about 50 pages in length that offered a vague reference to body parts. That was it! Hmmm.

With my mother ill during the pregnancy I had not asked her any questions and my two older sisters who had children – had terrible birth experiences so they didn’t want to chat about it at all. They didn’t breastfeed either, and while neither had C-Sections (it wasn’t savvy then) they had long, painful and difficult deliveries.

We’d been working at our new house and I’d carried some 200 gallons of paint into the house that day, so I was pretty tired and had some consistent low back pain that evening. Mom was in the hospital, so we headed home and I had a bath to which my father suddenly realized I was heading into labour! He said to me – Don’t get in the bath, just don’t,- time to go to the hospital. I was barely in labour and laughing now, I know it would have been ok to remain at home for another day, and rest however, off we went.

The labour felt long, hard, and threatening. We didn’t do “doula’s” Midwives were something foreign and only available in the UK. There always seemed to be something wrong, and I was the cause or culprit. If I was sleeping or resting, they woke me “what are you doing sleeping, you are supposed to be having a baby”

And up I would have to get and walk around the room for hours. After 60 hours of this, finally baby arrived, with forceps and an epidural.

This was early days for epidurals – and business as usual with forceps delivery; they only administered the epidural once you are 10 cm and on the delivery table. And it was near to impossible to remain still enough to allow the needle to be inserted between the surges. It was amazing when it finally took hold, however! Yes, a long and messy episiotomy too.

By the time it was all over, I was black and blue and remained in the hospital for 10 days! I didn’t see my newborn who had been over this rough terrain with me, for another 24 hours, as it was a Catholic hospital and we birthed on a Saturday Night.  No babies until Monday morning

She was finally introduced to me at the 8 am feeding on Monday morning for 20 minutes. They hadn’t started “rooming in” yet when I think of it, it was pretty brutal. However, not as harsh as my mothers day, when they used to drug the mothers so much they wouldn’t wake for 2 -3 days. What happened to us little ones during those times?

I wondered where had my infant been all this time? Did she know me? It was so foreign to suddenly be meeting this little one, and she was mine? the two of us met for the first time not knowing that the time between wasn’t completely normal

It was normal for the times. That’s the way it all went and we had little say in any of it. I remember looking at the girl in the bed next to me, sitting cross-legged the first morning after birthing, and wondering – how is she doing that? For me, I was in agony!

Pre-Birth Health Considerations and optimization:

It was some years ago now, I was privileged to find myself birthing with a number of Naturopath students. One had come to me and now referred me to the rest of her companions. We had 11 ND Births that year. I too wondered what was in their water?

Each ND, however, shared her Pre-Birth strategy and I think it’s such a good one I wanted to write about it here. They also advised that this super clean health focus and cleansing the body and cells prior to getting pregnant ensured when they actually got pregnant their body was in optimal health as would be their eggs!

First, when they decided they were going to get pregnant, they put themselves on 6 months cleanse of the “system” before even starting the pregnancy

This included healthy cleansing – not the kind you buy in a kit today.

They used green juices and healthy vitamins and natural teas to cleanse, heal and remove toxins from their body.

Especially the Liver, Kidney and Intestinal track, lower colon which sits very close to the reproductive organs.

This ultimately clears and cleanses the whole system, and you don’t want to do this like Speed Dating. You want to allow time and the gentle removal of toxins consistently to work.

What they also removed from their diets was interesting:

Caffeine – from tea, coffee and chocolate
All Sugars from non-natural sources
Most restricted the use of glutens and moved towards rice as their carb of choice
Oats and grains were important, so were beans and dark greens.
Zero Alcohol or smoking (none smoked anyway, however, they liked beer and wine, that subsided during this 6 months before too)
Milk was not part of their diet at all; instead, they used the nut milk available today

They ate 6-10 small meals a day, balancing fruit with proteins so as to maintain good blood sugar levels.
Lots of water, naps and listening to their body’s needs
They took high-grade Pregnancy Vitamins and supplements for the whole of the 6 months prior

Then the most shocking part of all of this?

They put their husbands on the same dietary cleanse and foods for the same period of time. WHAT? Did he do it?

Yes, you want a baby with me, I want my baby to have optimal sperm! You are either in this with me, or you are not interested in having a child with me!

Ultimately this was the outcome:

1: They all became pregnant when they wanted to
2: Their infants were all, healthy weights and good APGAR Scores
3: They gained weight during the pregnancy, however, held primarily to the foods they had eaten during the cleanse
4: Many birthed in-home water births with midwives
5: Births we deliciously on time, within 7- 10 hours of starting
most managing the whole pregnancy experience with gentle sounds and support of those they chose to have with them
6: Very few of them had to change strategies mid-birth and go to the hospital, in fact, there was only one that did, and that was primarily because her “birth space” at home was pretty busy with parents and family all showing up at the same time.
7: One C-Section occurred when the week before the birth the baby rotated into a full breach with head up and bum down, and she would not turn

This taught all the powerful skill of the Positive Reframe. We reframed the whole experience for mom and dad and baby was born in just under 20 minutes in a C-section

What I might share about this group of women and their partners,

They trusted their bodies, they trusted their partners in life and they had remained focused on what they wanted.

Both parents committed to the process and both brought their A game

Challenges to become pregnant:

Many women today are opting to wait longer before becoming pregnant, certainly longer than I did. At 20 we barely know who we are; never mind taking on responsibility for another’s life, and yet, this was the way of it not too many years ago. Certainly, before birth control, women had less choice in this matter.

Because we have the choice today, it’s creating this challenge around waiting until we get everything done, to become pregnant

Today we are into school, degrees, high-stress jobs, then adding to this, the lifestyle that goes with this and the foods and beverages we consume.

Does our body ever get really clear from the internal debris in a three week cleanse?

And then there is the whole stress and tension, the lack of sleep, the issues around releasing our jobs and what we will come back to?

For many women in leadership roles, it’s a completely engineered task and that becomes challenging too. When is the optimal moment? And now we have gone past that, what next?

It’s a lot for women today, however, that said we can still bring our A-Game to the conception side of this and give our bodies and our partners the same “housecleaning” before we start.

Of course, during the pregnancy, it’s just optimum to keep feeding your body and your newly forming infant with the highest frequency of food sources and vitamins and minerals.

Some mothers will say to me “yes I have pregnancy vitamins” however, they are from one of the lowest and cheapest manufacturers of vitamins. It’s only 9 months; your baby deserves the best start so opt for the best.

Health Issues that can arise:

Because we can measure and monitor everything these days, it’s best to be really conscious about what you are doing when going for various tests. Many women don’t really think about the outcome of these tests.

One client I had was in the habit of each morning consuming an extra large Tim Horton’s Iced Cap. Well her Gestational Diabetes test shot through the roof when she went for her appointment. She just didn’t think about the connection to the outcome. Her blood sugars were through the roof.

If you have been eating a lot of fruit or giving into your cravings for sweets during your pregnancy you might be moving toward Gestational Diabetes.

This is totally preventable with proper nutrition, and eating 6 small meals a day, balancing your diet with proteins – these help keep you balanced and your blood sugar in check.

Why is this important? Medically it can affect your infant to have blood sugars too high in the system. She /he could develop diabetes later in their lives. So could you.

Just know, it’s not fun. It’s really challenging to monitor and keep your blood sugars balanced and with children, it’s really hard for them.

Before your Gestational Diabetes tests – ensure you have had a week of Good Eating habits, cut back on the fruits and ensure you are eating enough proteins at each meal.

This will ensure you are on task with this test.

Pregnancy for a woman can seem like a non-issue in our twenties, lots of time.
The thirties too, then suddenly time is slipping past, and getting pregnant can become challenging.

Clearing and cleansing the body before and maintaining good habits during, is just the best start to life you can offer your little ones.

Start there, and if challenges arise for you, come see me, I have a program called Hypno-fertility and we can work through what might be getting in your way!

Contact me if you have questions: 604-421-1722 or send me an email!

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD, ANXIETY & Phobia’s – we can help you

Hypnosis and NLP really help us relieve unnecessary fears, tension and worry!

Hypnotherapy and NLP

Anxiety & excessive fears can affect you!
Anxiety is one of those words that can mean so many things to different people. This page will lead you to more specific pages on problems associated with anxiety. Some are physical symptoms of anxiety such as excessive blushing, excessive sweating and panic attacks. Additionally, we work with various contexts for anxiety such as exam nerves and being worried about interviews and wedding nerves. Each will give you information about the feelings associated with anxiety such as lack of confidence, guilt, loneliness, procrastination, shyness and stress. There can be a large overlap between these issues.

How we can help various forms of ‘anxiety’.

• Anxiety Disorder – we give treatment for the variations of general anxiety disorder. We work to discover how and when anxiety occurs for you and retrain your thinking so that you become calmer and more resourceful.

• Blushing –
treatment for excessive blushing with hypnotherapy and NLP. This is one of the most common conditions that we treat. This is another example of a problem that gets worse the more you think about it, a kind of self-fulfilling prophesy that can often be re-conditioned very quickly.

• Confidence –
You can gain self-confidence in whatever area of your life you need it. Whether you call it self confidence or self-esteem, we train you to think differently, more usefully, and more positively.

• Exam Nerves –
We train your mind to begin coping and feeling resourceful well before you take the examination. The treatment is also useful to assist you in your ability to study effectively. If you have been one of those people who has continually underperformed in exams due to exam stress, then we can help you.

• Excessive Sweating –
Very often, the less you worry about excessive sweating, the less you sweat. Hyperhidrosis is therefore treatable to the extent that your anxiety about sweating too much is programming you in such a way as to make the problem worse.

• Guilt – There are a truly vast variety of ways that excessive guilt can manifest itself to the point of having a continued and negative effect on someone’s life. We help you to learn from the past, let it go and move forward in your life.

• Interview Nerves –
Being cool, calm and collected is a state of mind that can be learned. We help you to condition your neurology to more automatically go into resourceful states during interviews, and we train you to stop worrying about your interview in advance

• Loneliness –
Feelings of isolation are not necessarily connected with the proximity of other people. Many people experience extreme loneliness even when surrounded by crowds of others.

• Panic Attacks –
Treatment for panic attacks (anxiety attacks). These attacks are usually, although not always, happening in a certain context, in other words, they occur in certain circumstances. Even when there is no full-blown panic attack, the fear of having one – pre-anxiety- can be debilitating in and of itself.

• Procrastination –
A person who procrastinates to the point of realizing they need help is probably ‘putting things off’ in very many areas of their life.

• Shyness – Social Anxiety
Shyness, sometimes given the label ‘social anxiety’, can be a crippling condition – isolating the person from society and preventing them from finding a partner and finding a job, or getting a better job. It CAN be overcome.

• Stress Management –
‘Stress Management’ is the expression often used by people who offer tools to help you feel less stressed and to cope with stressful feelings as they arise.

• Stress Relief For Care Givers, People looking after a friend or relative with conditions that can be debilitating such as Alzheimer’s, cancer and other conditions, often find themselves living their lives with little or no time for themselves.

• Wedding Nerves – Banish wedding nerves and have the best day of your life.

• ‘Releasing Fear’ by Kathy Welter Nichols Brilliant CD/MP3 to deal with fear – Contact me here for purchase of the MP3

Generally, I see clients 3-4 times to resolve Anxiety and Panic Attacks. Contact me here for more details.

We can help contact us here.


We are not victims without our permission

A Channel from Ishtar, responding to my question about what we are witnessing in the rise of the Divine Feminine Energy :

“With the  issues from Trump and these recent discussions and displays of disregard and disrespect for women, and how it is activating women almost creating a polarization of the masculine and feminine again, certainly evident in both men and women’s behaviours… how do we move through this at this time? how do women let go of all this so we can move through this? We are not victims without our permission.” 

“This is a very powerful question, and a real issue, as said, a catalyst for our times. For what is fascinating with this question and the energy around gender, is that its sitting within a bigger energy  a bigger construct within the masculine and feminine.

We are moving from a masculine energy dominated frame work and structure, and this  isn’t just about males,  although historically that may seem how it is, we are currently literally in an energetic masculine construct. Everyone knows, both males and females, however,  in their gender representations,  have aspects of the masculine and feminine within them. And there is this feminine energy that for a very long period of time,  has been brought down, has been suppressed, and this is not just about females it’s about the decline of the balanced feminine energy, for when one looks at it in an ascended consciousness, once again back to the unified field energy, if you have a predominance of masculine energy and the suppression of the feminine energy, within a unified field, which is the ascension consciousness; they both have to be of equal energetic vibration.

So when we say, the rise of the divine feminine, this is not bringing forth the feminine energy as you have seen in the many decades past, where women are gaining power through the embodiment of a masculine model, so they could be heard.

This is around the rise of this energy to bring it into balance. It’s not one where the feminine gains power over the masculine and suppresses the masculine. We are not looking at  a time where they  flip flop, however, the feminine needs to be in  the rise as a balancing force,  so  that ALL of humanity can vibrate at their fullest with both male and female energy  balancing at it’s highest frequency. For if you look at the male and female masculine and feminine within the totality, the greatest frequency is there for the benefit of all humanity.when both are equally available not too much of one, and not enough of the other.

So these recent episodes brought out in the question, are there creating an expanded awareness, like striking a match, where you can’t go back to the unknowingness  of this there are things there that are so obvious now,  creating a massive awareness and understanding for many men who very much support the rise of the feminine energy. This is not a gender war, it’s about a re-balancing of energies, and what better way to do this, than bring the things that have been suppressed,  that have been hidden, that have been marginalized out into the open for awareness is the catalyst of change, until there is awareness – no matter what it is, nothing can change. So whether the awareness comes from noticing there is a rock in your shoe, and it hurts, until you look inside and see, you can’t change anything until you take your shoe off and see there is a rock there and remove it, now you can change it.

And these are examples of much larger examples of catalysts that have come up right now, for change. The outpouring that has come up right now, is bringing awareness to the inequality of the energy is profound. It’s profound, it’s rippling through the consciousness, so that the Collective Consciousness does not stay the same. It lost it’s elasticity it’s getting stretched beyond the container it’s being held in., if you will. And these are good things. Does it come about from a shocking point of view? yes it does, the ripple out effect is so profound it will not be forgotten again, and energetically it up-levels everything to the next level the next octave. in terms of living in a balanced energy, it will not be marginalized or suppressed again.

And we will say remember you are in either a female or male physical form, remember its just the code of arms you are wearing in this lifetime, however, remember there are many lifetimes, where you switched sides, where you lived as male or female  in physical form, where you might have been the oppressor or the suppressed one, where you had power over, or where powered over others. So this is not about the rightness or wrongness of males and females in their gender roles, endeavour not to limit this time to mere human experiences in their roles over many lifetimes, this is a profound rebalancing of the feminine energy.so that they come into balance, not flipping one upside down again.

It’s so important and it’s required in the ascension process.  (End of Channel)

Recalibrating:

We might reconsider our part in this now, if we take a second perspective, what if we have indeed been in these other positions?  The rebalancing of this feminine energy within us, as humans, is necessary, it’s time to recognize we cannot go back to an “us and them” mentality, in fact we have all played all roles at different times, both using power and abusing power over others (without even considering the concept of other lifetimes- yes even in this one). What needs awareness now, is the consciousness that this is shifting and we are at a choice point, do we assist, rather than resist? Can we find ways to forgive each other and self. find ways to release oneself from the frequency of judgement and allow the flow of that awareness to help uplift the whole of the Consciousness, as we embrace this “Oneness” ?

This awakening in the feminine is not just coming through women, it’s there in our male counterparts, for they too have long suppressed their own feminine and lost touch with the connection to their own  deep inner goddess within.

We are being asked to participate and partake every day, in every way. All we can do, is do our best, learn from our miss-takes, do them over again,  and refrain from pretending we’ve never treated another in the way we may have felt we’ve been treated. Fall into your humanity, and embrace it with humility and reverence. We are all gifts unto each other, teachers of this divine principal that is now making itself known, uplifting us so that we might all return unto the Oneness.

 

 

 

 

Women are taking a stand…

Historically we were encouraged to duck and dive the challenges across the male/female divide. At home, girls are raised to follow their mothers behaviour and instruction from their fathers. If discussion and argument are prohibitive, if shouting and powering over was the “normal” then girls learned to placate and please and be nice and develop the ability to “read” the situation for its potential danger. Better to tuck under and placate then risk greater punitive challenges.
In the recent article BY 
Many authors offer commentary on the abuse of power in the world of Art, Theatre, Music however, I

really, believe we need to talk about sexual harassment in every area of our Culture:  politics, health care, education, science, medicine, research, film and theatre… I cannot think of one area of our culture that doesn’t have this associated with it. I feel as women we need to stop making “nice” with it, and call it what it is.

 Recently in our Meditation The Way of Effortless group, three young women shared things experienced in this past week, sharing there experiences and what they chose to do about it, here: 
The 1st one: She had just had her hair done and feeling joyful and delighted with how she looked, she was walking down the street in Vancouver, when an older man approached her on the street, and said “Nice” and winked at her. Instantly she rejected his comments.  She turned and quietly said in a very steady voice “I did not ask your opinion” She turned and walked away.
 (she didn’t do the usual, accept his “compliment” uninvited as it was, and then try to make NICE with it and ensure he felt complimented back by his comment)
She felt fully empowered and yet needed some assurances too, as this was certainly “not a normal thing to do” sharing she had never done this before.

The  2nd one : She was walking back to her office and felt a man FOLLOWING her, entering into her building she saw him come in with her. When she got on the elevator, she had such a strong feeling she had to do something, even though there was a  group of others in the elevator, as she entered it,  he did as well. She suddenly stopped pushed the door OPEN button and got out, HOLDING the elevator door, she held her hand up in the STOP position and asked him to get out. She then said to him, “stay right where you are, I’m calling security”, stepping back into the elevator she  called security as the door closed leaving him there in the lobby. Others in the elevator with her where shocked, and she felt she had saved him getting to other floors where he might have done something. Listening to her intuition and the strong feelings within, she stepped beyond her comfort zone and took action. 

The  3rd one:  The woman was on a dating site, when the emailer started referring to sexual actions and she said to him “Excuse me?” in the text response,  He responded with “well what do you expect” she responded “to be treated with respect” and deleted his account. 

 NONE of the women were upset, they just acted with volition in the moment. They took their power and said NO. 
When we are in fear, of losing our jobs, losing the part, threatened outside our comfort zones, there have been times where we stopped and just let it go, pretend it was not feeling like it was really feeling, that pressed down, panicky feeling wondering what’s going to happen next. And often when the thing passed without anything further happening – it was like a “lucky break” so I won’t talk about it, I won’t complain, I’m just so glad nothing bad happened.
And yes, even when bad things do happen, we fear retribution and tuck under and just hope it never happens again.

This is abuse of power, it’s no difference in the church, or any other place where some have an inaccurate belief they hold power over others.

In the past women learned to make light of the issue and just get past it, however, when we do that, we create issues for ourselves in our beliefs around who we are, and what our real power and purpose are. We are not here to subjugate ourselves for anyone, especially when forced.
In the case of Sexual Harassment  for anyone (because men get it too) it is not very far off bullying,  this powering over – because they can.
Make no mistake, this “locker room talk” is not about sex, it’s objectifying women “I have power over you, and I’m going to show you just how much.” It assumes a weaker person will give in, under the pressure to the one with perceived power, Like Jennifer Lawrence who agreed to a naked line up  and still remembers the feeling of  the degradation even now. That is a psychic rape. Anyone in a position of power over others, has a due diligence to take responsibility for that power, using it with care and service to the other. Just as parenting can draw out an abuse of power over the child, we as humans must rise above this base behaviour that creates a sick addiction to subjugating other humans.
There doesn’t have to be anger or charged hysteria. 
We can say no. In fact, No. is a complete sentence. 

What is your default state?


The interesting thing is most of us have a bad experience of authority growing up, usually it’s with our parents, then we have this with teachers, and eventually we have to come back to our genuine or authentic authority –eventually we grow up and stop whining about what we didn’t get and go get it for ourselves.

The scary thing is we actually can go get what we want. What we wanted all along. We can just go get that. And yet we can’t either. We get stopped.

When we walk the road we are supposed to walk, we have the opposite of civil authority, and we become in touch with authentic authority.

When a person is being authentic, they have authority. They are in their power. They don’t have to fight and argue, scream or go home and beat their chest and sob their pain away. They recognize who they are and they see who others are, and they accept what is in the moment.

Things can change, often they do. In fact, change is the only permanence we know

We get confused, so we don’t trust our own natural authority. When people fear not making a mistake, and fear being imperfect, we let others fill in the gap, we trust others with our truth, our sacredness, and we let them destroy it, or try to. Usually another that does this kind of thing is out of touch with their own sacredness.

Listen, it’s only money. If you put the money aside what are you really arguing about? He didn’t love me enough? If he didn’t that’s down to two things:

He didn’t love himself enough to start with and should never have been in relationship with any other human until he sorted that out in himself.

You didn’t love yourself enough to know that no one else can fill your love quota except you.  A person can tell you a million times they love you, if you don’t love yourself, you will reject it.

It’s not good enough love, it’s love that you don’t want, or like, it’s meaningless to you, it’s only physical, it was just about the money, it was a place to live, for a while I loved him…

No, you love, and it’s there forever. If it comes and goes like the sun behind a cloud does, then it wasn’t love, that might be friendship, affection, physical touch, even good kissing, but that’s not love. Love sticks around, it goes through hurt and pain and sadness, and it sticks. Love exists beyond pain. Love exists beyond the grave. If you get good love in a lifetime, it can change everything for you. And good love is not necessarily coming from the hot guy or the great looking chic. Often love starts out in friendship, caring, similarities, sharing, building core values in a relationship that begins to mean something. Then love grows – love for you in that relationship. When you love yourself through another, you can learn what that love would be like if it came through you. That kindness, that regard, that joyful connection. That’s love. And it will grow with care. Love only grows with care. Demanding and commanding love, is like asking the cloud to move on so you can own the suns rays.

Doesn’t work like that. Love grows when it’s tended, with care, dignity, kindness. Then love grows. If you are doing other in a relationship and wondering why it’s hard, argumentative, judgmental, and lacks kindness… then again, it’s not love.

Finding the dream of the self means tapping into our own genuine authority As we get closer to the self and the dream, we are in touch with our own genius, and this can be a painful place to hang out. Usually there is some wounding going on in there somewhere.  If we are in touch with our authentic self, we are in touch with our own personal healing. Healing what we need to heal – not what someone else judges us for and condemns us, telling us you need to go get that fixed – no I doesn’t’ work that way, You hold all your own answers, and if you don’t believe then just let someone try and help you heal. Or fix something, or point something out to you or correct your behavior, or ask for something different than you are giving them. Just let them try. I’d like a seat at that one, just to observe of course

When you change your life you change everyone around you. And most will resist your change unless they are changing too. Especially family.

And often they pretend they want you to stay the same, don’t change, but really most people are just focused on themselves about 99% of the time, and when you ask them, beg them to listen and help you with a problem – what are the delaying tactics you’ve witnessed?  Lets go get something to eat first, I need to use the bathroom, there’s the phone.. Just give me a minute…on it goes. So pay someone to listen to you, see if they really hear you, or are they working their own model of what you need to change too?  If you sense someone is envious, your gifts are becoming more pronounced, because there is a penetrating and damaging energy that can come in when you get in touch with your gifts. People don’t like it. Not really, because it flies in the face of what they are not doing. Sure go fly that plane, write a book, figure out a challenging process… say no once in a while and just see what happens.

You don’t have to explain anything, you don’t have to give your reasons, send notes, text others, you don’t have to do that. Did you know that? Its ok for you to just do what you are doing. If people ask, you can be responsive, or you can even tell them, “I’m working on myself right now I’ll let you know when I figure this out”. It doesn’t damage relationships… it does set boundaries and that is a healthy thing.

The self is not innocent the self is the union of opposites, the self is interested in experiences of all kinds, it’s not interested in playing perfect, or pretending there is a right or wrong, it craves experience in all its many forms.

We can act out the shadow side; we can see it in others, and in ourselves. Some pretty dark and disturbing stuff exists within the shadow nature of the self.

The normal boundaries maintained by the ego, keeping things separate, now collapse. When there are zero boundaries the shadow can swamp the ego. Now it’s let me out of here time. And that’s really not an option. I’ve had it on good authority, that if you leave unfinished work in this lifetime, no matter how hard it might seem to face this life, in this moment, if you opt to cut your work, apparently you just get to do it over. Either on that side or in a repeat performance in the next life. We never really get away with anything, no matter how mad we get, we have to deal with it. AND it’s been my experience if you avoid doing your work you just get to repeat the patterns enough times until you are saying to yourself, “hey haven’t I already been down this path several times? How come I’m here again?”

A healthy ego is needed to structure the energy. There is a slight difference that makes the self move towards the good, instead of the dark side.  It’s humanity that keeps the self in a positive state, or pretends it’s trying to be positive, all that discipline and gold star business when we are little kids.

They get us worked out fast, “want the treat? Ok, work hard then”… And it just carries on; want the guy? Work hard. Want the job? Work hard. Want the house? Work hard, want the … and we dig in, lets go get this one done; we know all about working hard to get something by the time we are two.

What is the de-fault state? What is the fault of the state you de-fault to? What state are you in daily when you are not pretending to be perfect, ok, up on everything? Who is the authentic you? Do you know?

The self, itself can manifest anything. It’s us that don’t want the negativity the authentic self can’t be wounded or damaged by anything. It’s eternal, it’s without ending.  The ego is the buffer and it knows it’s got a limited time line here. When the self is in the ferocious mode the ego steps in and keeps things in order. When all the stuff stops, and there is no one or nothing around you, what is the state you default to? Can you name it? Is it anxiety? Fear? Anger? Judgment? Who are you when you are just being yourself? Listen to yourself the next time you eavesdrop on your state, – are you criticizing others? Judging you, depressed, that’s a good one. What about obsessed or controlling? Powerless? Have you tried the state of ambivalence? There are so many choices, its really sad we kind of create the default state, and drop in there every time there is a pause in the play. Where did we go?

If you think of the other emotions, peace, love, joy, happiness… what about those states? Do you have to change your state to get into those states, or wait for something good to happen to motivate you towards those states?

Do you actually know what they feel like? If you felt one of those states, would you dismiss it? And return to what?

The faces on the temples are there to say, don’t come in here – unless you understand that the sacred is also the most deadly. Sacred and sacrifice are two sides of the same place.

The sacred always involves power, so we have to have authority when there is sacred around. A Move towards the sacred is the increase of  power and the shadow  activates the ego. The ego steps up its need for control and suppression because there is a lot of power moving around.

The increase of spirit is an increase in power. Imagination is the core power that increases the spirit  – Imagine yourself… with a new default state… what would it be? What would it look like, feel like, sound like? How would you know it was different? Can you maintain it ? What happens when it goes? What do you go back to?  Are you aware of who you are when you are not trying? Sometimes it’s exhausting isn’t it? Just trying to be… something

So there is a certain way along the path where you have to recognize it’s not ok to keep doing what you are doing. You can’t keep saying, “well I didn’t know”, because now you do know. Once you know you really can’t un-know it. It’s hard to set up these lies to ourselves, and then endeavour to maintain them, it’s gets really busy when this happens and takes a lot of extra effort to keep oneself out of the know, when you really do know.

This is the shadowy way of dealing with power.  This kind of authority is controlling, threatening, dangerous,

There is a danger of becoming the one that is guarding what is sacred – then you aren’t really close to the authentic power you are just maintaining the status quo, and protecting the sacred for everyone else. A sacrifice, remember I mentioned, it’s close to the sacred?

 

 

You have: Two ears, two eyes.

One eye sees what everyone is looking at and the other sees what is there.

One ear hears the conversation; the other ear hears what is not being said.

If you won’t see, and don’t want to listen, don’t want to feel…. The default state is ready and wiling, It entertains the ego and allows the “normal” default state to emerge.

Everyone has both language and sound within the sound combined with the image, and each person is here to connect to this, which is within them, and bring it forth. And it’s vital that you do so. And you won’t until you get in touch with your authentic power.

YOU are essential! Stop; telling yourself; you are not.

And …Everyone has this saboteur that stops and cancels it – this is the essence of the questions when we ask:

“What stops you from getting what you want?”  it’s the saboteur – and only you can do that to yourself. No one else can, you have to grant them access to your secrets, let them trash your sacredness, give over your power, diminish yourself, lay face down and let them walk over you… and only you can do this.

No one makes you do anything.  it’s all by choice, agreement and often a trade off to get something you thought you really wanted at the time, but later found out, it was one of those things that drops to the back of cupboard, and eventually goes out to the garage sale.

It was just some glitter, looked exciting, but then it really wasn’t what you thought it was going to be in the first place. Just a facsimile of the real thing. A faux version of it, but not the real one.

Dreams are the world trying to come through now.  Why stop them? They are the access point to your genius and it’s trying to reach you one half of every 24 hours. That’s a lot of dreaming.

The saboteur is the shadow self, the critic. Just about to get what I should be doing, and the critic comes up, and cancels it out. “oh maybe someone will object to what I say? Would they be upset with that? Someone could be offended? Would I hurt someone’s feelings if I spoke my truth?”

This is the shadow, and you need to be alert to the shadow and know that this is so, and how does this work inside me?

What triggers this in me?

The critic is the exaggerated sense of self, you can’t get rid of this, better to make peace with it, know it, and let it chew down on small things that can help you do better in areas you are sabotaging yourself. Like cleaning the toilette, sorting your paperwork, making the timely commitments etc.

The critic is useful  – it helps you get aware of the saboteur. Your parents gave you the internal saboteur, and their parents helped them out the same way. Essentially right now, most of us are dealing at least seven generations back with this stuff. You know the material:

Don’t get too big for your britcheswe know who you really are.     

Michael Meade,

Mastery of Deep Trance States

Mastery of Deep Trance States

“I had two experiences with Harry and Kathy, Shaman Inside and Deep Trance States. So I say THANK YOU again to Harry and Kathy for what they gave to me.”
Paola,   Italy 2010

“amazing, it changed my life”
AD, Vancouver 2013

“First, let me begin by saying how truly grateful and honoured I feel to have shared this most inspiring journey with you all.  More and more I am convinced that everything happens for a reason, and had I not been faced with these challenges and reached my breaking point, I would have never met you guys and made these wonderful discoveries and changes.  I am a new person now thanks to you.   I really felt loved and cared for.   Kathy, Thank you and Harry for this amazing experience!  You guys are the best! Much love” Desiree, Vancouver 2013

The emotional growth I attained myself in that very short space of time without an intention to do any personal work. I have learnt so much and forgiven so very much that I have come away with a new way of “being” in this world. I now find patience “effortless and easy”. After 24 hrs travelling it had its moments but I understood those emotions in that context. I now hold a view of the world that I can “be in the moment”. Most poignantly this shows with my children my answer is it was worth significantly more. I would happily pay at least three times over. The decision to put my fears and worries aside to do this was without doubt one of the better decisions of my life. Thank-you.

Ann-Maree Starr, Australia

Clinical Hypnotherapist, BA, BSW