Tag: Beliefs & values

What do I want? I know what I don’t want… and that wasn’t good either,

So what do I really want?

When we are clear and know what we want, it’s really easy to pick off the stuff that does not work. And having some support in figuring that out often comes through “talking it through” with someone that does not have an investment in your decisions or choices. An impartial third party. As a “wise woman” once told me, “if you just let people talk long enough, they find their own answers.”

Then you  will not end up going through 6 months or a year of more of the same, trying to get a different outcome, instead you see the patterns and you can easily say “no this is not what I want” and reach a better decision before you get hooked into more of the same.

And that’s the only match up you want to be going for. All the others are various levels of internal negotiation and denial to try and get what you want, and that creates massive delusions and illusions, drama and
self sacrifice, all in the hopes of eventually, maybe, hopefully getting a little of what you want.   

We spend our youth chasing , making and subjecting ourselves to lots of drama, and when we get older it seems reasonable to – live alone, and accept what little bits and pieces come along – declaring “I’m so much happier than I was when I was young”. Of course you are, you are alone and happily making choices just for you. What if there was a way to do this differently? No sacrifices and no giving up, and finding yourself living life sharing the adventure with someone that would not ask you or want you to give up anything?

So there are some ways to secure the shifts and changes you might be looking for, however, if you don’t know what they are… you won’t know when you get them.

And believe me knowing all this, nothing is perfect, there is no perfect relationship, however, if the majority of what you want, the big things are covered, then the little things are so easy for you to take care of.

What we most want in our life is someone we can….

Trust? Respect? Like? Be-friend? Love? Care for? That will give us the same in return?
Physically attracted to, have fun with? Maybe choose to go the distance with each other?
Through the mirrors of relationship figure out what is mine to still work on? Witness my life and respect me enough to at least see me, hear me, and love me?

We can blame our parents, our teachers and keep ourselves a victim of our own choices and behaviours, and so many do. And it’s ok to do that too, it’s just a difference “choice point”.

When women figure this out – it’s wonderful, they are like honey to bees, because they just keep dancing out of the reach of the relationships that just will not work…because they know what they want.

And the right bee is out there, and when they share their honey together, it really is magic. Really.

When we ask: What am I doing? That’s when real change is possible.

To get there, we can’t just say – oh I’m over my childhood stuff with mom and dad , cleared and released. Instead we drive forward for :

Forgiven, and the free-flowing gratitude for  our parents, who held to their steadfast behaviours that caused me to “wake up” and say – “hey I want something different here”

Go Ahead: Ask the questions:

“Who Am I?”
What do I want?
What would it look like?
What stops me from getting that?

What do I have to deal with in my own behaviours?
Am I 100% satisfied with myself?
Do I know how to go with the flow,
Let things go?
Relieve stress and anxiety, tension and even discharge anger ?

What do I have to do to get all this?
What steps do I take?
What books do I read?

Am I worth committing to? Am I the person I know I can be – all the time?

So, a set of goals, a bit of work, some commitments to taking this work personally…

Then what happens next is really up to you, because at the very least you will not be afraid of your personal history, you will have shifted that forever, into personal awareness so you never again find yourself stuck without resources to help yourself.

The crazy thing I found out in my self discovery process is this NLP training we do, and I took, is designed specifically to hit these targets, to create awareness and open us to our real self, perhaps the scariest aspect of knowing oneself is connecting to it all.

Some of the keys to self discovery are letting of of those crazy beliefs we’ve agreed to:

Masterfully handle family issues, with awareness of your own choice points
No longer controlled or manipulated by guilt or anger
Skillfully design and create the life you want
Orientate yourself to your goals and moving towards what you want, instead of away from, because of fear, guilt, lack of confidence in yourself
Know what your personal goals are
Set a campaign to achieve them in a timeline that is yours, then projecting and future pacing it into your future
Knowing what you want, and celebrating when you get it – celebrating the self, rather than expecting others to
Knowing the difference between sorting from the inside, to sorting from the outside – both are essential to navigating life, and experience, however, there are time, when only you and yourself know what is truly needed
Achieving milestone goals
Remaining active in creating the life you want
Adjusting what isn’t working quickly and efficiently rather than hoping things will change

Masterful personal change work starts with knowing what you want.

This is not a therapy, NLP doesn’t work like that, NLP operates somewhere much deeper on the level of knowing how we communicate with each other. How you communicate in your relationships whether business or personal relationship or even specifically to yourself,
NLP provides the tools to help you reveal your personal communication style, the way you process information, how you view the world, what your beliefs are, changing those historical markers that you used to believe created your problems. Getting real with who you are, helping yourself first, and feeling amazing about it.

NLP doesn’t hold a behaviour judgement either, it doesn’t need to. Leave that one to the therapist’s chair.
NLP steadfastly observes communications and the process we use to achieve the outcome, whether we like it or not, or even want to change something, NLP doesn’t hold an opinion on that.
It simply says “This is what you are doing to achieve this”.  Now, “is it what you want?”

Want to change it? Ok, then we use the same tools and skill sets to achieve that too.

So think about this, where are you right now? Do you know what you want? What’s important to you? How many times have you stopped yourself from getting what you want? If you speak your truth what happens? If you say “this is what I want” how do you feel about that? What if you have an opportunity before you – do you back away fearful of the challenges? Tell yourself I’m not good enough? No one will listen to me? My father said I was …. My mother always….

 

So what’s the point of those stories in your life? Are you ready to change them? For good?

Contact me and lets get started – after all this is Your Life.