Mindset – Changing the program

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Do you trust yourself?

Contact me today for more information on this program, it’s just brilliant. 604-421-1722

Sometimes its the hardest thing to do!

Who am I?
What do I want?
How do I get it?
How do I stop myself?
What if I don’t get it? What if I do?
What would I have to give up to get it? Maintain it?

Mindsets –

  • I can’t have that
  • He’s too good for me
  • I’ll never be able to get that
  • Words carry energy

You start to believe them And other people start to believe whatever you are saying too

Where to start?

Go back to the start or origin of the story? There was a reason you began to distort, delete and generalize your power in this way. Do you remember why you created this version of yourself? Once a client shared with me, she was quite attractive in High School, and got teased by her brother a lot at home. He would joke in front of his friends, “oh she can get any guy” and they would all laugh at her. So she started to tell a different story to stop/interrupt their teasing. She would say things like “I’m not that, I’m not, I’m fat, I have freckles, I’m not that good in school, I’m not that smart with math or sciences…” and the guys would nod and leave her alone.

After a while they stopped teasing, but the story stuck there inside her mind rolling around. A story to make people stop bullying her, had become her story to share with the world.

Another client shared her father wouldn’t listen to her unless she had a problem, then he would begin solving it for her, and it was always the wrong way. And he always added that it was a lucky thing she had him to figure out her problems for her otherwise she would be lost in the world. At 55, she’s still suffering from this internal “installation” that she is lost without her father’s guidance.

Powerful positive thoughts and feelings far out-weigh the negative ones

Recognize your story, it’s origins, and take back your power from them. Cancel, clear, delete; and create brand new images. Take all the colour out of those images and make them grey, black & white and just blow the dust away. They are not true. You can be attractive and still be smart too. You can solve your own problems and if dad has no other way to connect with you that’s his loss.

Replace negative statements with a single positive word

First get rid of them, use : Cancel Clear Delete or Cancel Cancel Cancel. And just stop the thoughts.

What if I can’t what if I keep thinking them? Notice the minute they start and STOP right there, now do something else to distract you from that thought. Still persisting? Then hear is what you tell that persistent internal voice that is really just trying to help you “So What”. So what. So what.

Inner mantras you can do for yourself right here:

  • I am –
  • I will-
  • I am doing
  • I am being
  • I control my own thoughts, they no longer control me,
  • I am an abundant wealthy millionaire and I feel it in every cell of my body
  • I am in a successful relationship that feeds all levels of growth and potential
  • I believe in myself and my ability to create what my heart desires most

Your thoughts and words match your life, and these are the only ones you tell others. This is who I am. And they are the only things you listen to from your inner voice. Go ahead and connect to the inner voice and those things it sometimes says to you:  “I’m not safe, things are out of my control, I’m suffering, I don’t know what to do”

These are all generalizations, that are deleting true information, they lump all the images and inner voices into one big jam up. And it stresses you and tumbles about in your mind. Go ahead now, and reframe these using the positive reframing:

  • I am safe right now
  • I am in control of my life right now
  • I choose not to suffer in any way
  • I know what to do to help myself right now

Your thoughts and actions create your reality

Make another choice, Right now!

A Great Exercise:

  • 3 goals you want to come into fruition in the next 90 days and then next 12 months
  • What you really want and not what you have been told you should do or want?
  • What are they? List them now
  • Stop, take a breath , relax, what do you want?

A great place to start is what is your dream for your life?  What is it? What was it – if you have to go back, what did you want to be when you were seven?

Want to change this? Contact me. We’ll get it done together.

 

 

 

New Beginnings

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Do you ?

What do I want? I know what I don’t want… and that wasn’t good either,

So what do I really want?

When we are clear and know what we want, it’s really easy to pick off the stuff that does not work. And having some support in figuring that out often comes through “talking it through” with someone that does not have an investment in your decisions or choices. An impartial third party. As a “wise woman” once told me, “if you just let people talk long enough, they find their own answers.”

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Then you  will not end up going through 6 months or a year of more of the same, trying to get a different outcome, instead you see the patterns and you can easily say “no this is not what I want” and reach a better decision before you get hooked into more of the same.

And that’s the only match up you want to be going for. All the others are various levels of internal negotiation and denial to try and get what you want, and that creates massive delusions and illusions, drama and
self sacrifice, all in the hopes of eventually, maybe, hopefully getting a little of what you want.   

We spend our youth chasing , making and subjecting ourselves to lots of drama, and when we get older it seems reasonable to – live alone, and accept what little bits and pieces come along – declaring “I’m so much happier than I was when I was young”. Of course you are, you are alone and happily making choices just for you. What if there was a way to do this differently? No sacrifices and no giving up, and finding yourself living life sharing the adventure with someone that would not ask you or want you to give up anything?

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Shared times

So there are some ways to secure the shifts and changes you might be looking for, however, if you don’t know what they are… you won’t know when you get them.

And believe me knowing all this, nothing is perfect, there is no perfect relationship, however, if the majority of what you want, the big things are covered, then the little things are so easy for you to take care of.

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I trust myself

What we most want in our life is someone we can….

Trust? Respect? Like? Be-friend? Love? Care for? That will give us the same in return?
Physically attracted to, have fun with? Maybe choose to go the distance with each other?
Through the mirrors of relationship figure out what is mine to still work on? Witness my life and respect me enough to at least see me, hear me, and love me?

We can blame our parents, our teachers and keep ourselves a victim of our own choices and behaviours, and so many do. And it’s ok to do that too, it’s just a difference “choice point”.

When women figure this out – it’s wonderful, they are like honey to bees, because they just keep dancing out of the reach of the relationships that just will not work…because they know what they want.

And the right bee is out there, and when they share their honey together, it really is magic. Really.

When we ask: What am I doing? That’s when real change is possible.

To get there, we can’t just say – oh I’m over my childhood stuff with mom and dad , cleared and released. Instead we drive forward for :

Forgiven, and the free-flowing gratitude for  our parents, who held to their steadfast behaviours that caused me to “wake up” and say – “hey I want something different here”

Go Ahead: Ask the questions:

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I can do this!

“Who Am I?”
What do I want?
What would it look like?
What stops me from getting that?

What do I have to deal with in my own behaviours?
Am I 100% satisfied with myself?
Do I know how to go with the flow,
Let things go?
Relieve stress and anxiety, tension and even discharge anger ?

What do I have to do to get all this?
What steps do I take?
What books do I read?

Am I worth committing to? Am I the person I know I can be – all the time?

So, a set of goals, a bit of work, some commitments to taking this work personally…

Then what happens next is really up to you, because at the very least you will not be afraid of your personal history, you will have shifted that forever, into personal awareness so you never again find yourself stuck without resources to help yourself.

The crazy thing I found out in my self discovery process is this NLP training we do, and I took, is designed specifically to hit these targets, to create awareness and open us to our real self, perhaps the scariest aspect of knowing oneself is connecting to it all.

Some of the keys to self discovery are letting of of those crazy beliefs we’ve agreed to:

Masterfully handle family issues, with awareness of your own choice points
No longer controlled or manipulated by guilt or anger
Skillfully design and create the life you want
Orientate yourself to your goals and moving towards what you want, instead of away from, because of fear, guilt, lack of confidence in yourself
Know what your personal goals are
Set a campaign to achieve them in a timeline that is yours, then projecting and future pacing it into your future
Knowing what you want, and celebrating when you get it – celebrating the self, rather than expecting others to
Knowing the difference between sorting from the inside, to sorting from the outside – both are essential to navigating life, and experience, however, there are time, when only you and yourself know what is truly needed
Achieving milestone goals
Remaining active in creating the life you want
Adjusting what isn’t working quickly and efficiently rather than hoping things will change

Masterful personal change work starts with knowing what you want.

This is not a therapy, NLP doesn’t work like that, NLP operates somewhere much deeper on the level of knowing how we communicate with each other. How you communicate in your relationships whether business or personal relationship or even specifically to yourself,
NLP provides the tools to help you reveal your personal communication style, the way you process information, how you view the world, what your beliefs are, changing those historical markers that you used to believe created your problems. Getting real with who you are, helping yourself first, and feeling amazing about it.

NLP doesn’t hold a behaviour judgement either, it doesn’t need to. Leave that one to the therapist’s chair.
NLP steadfastly observes communications and the process we use to achieve the outcome, whether we like it or not, or even want to change something, NLP doesn’t hold an opinion on that.
It simply says “This is what you are doing to achieve this”.  Now, “is it what you want?”

Want to change it? Ok, then we use the same tools and skill sets to achieve that too.

So think about this, where are you right now? Do you know what you want? What’s important to you? How many times have you stopped yourself from getting what you want? If you speak your truth what happens? If you say “this is what I want” how do you feel about that? What if you have an opportunity before you – do you back away fearful of the challenges? Tell yourself I’m not good enough? No one will listen to me? My father said I was …. My mother always….

 

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Team Work

So what’s the point of those stories in your life? Are you ready to change them? For good?

Contact me and lets get started – after all this is Your Life.