Addiction Definition

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Any use of substance or behaviour that is compulsive and is damaging to the person using it. 

TYPE & CONSTANT USE:

What type of substance?

  • How often do you use it?
  • How much is consumed?
  • Alone or with others?
  • How intense is the experience? Until you are drunk, pass out, black out?
  • Until you pass out from vomiting? 

Your commitment must start with an understanding you want to live differently. You are the only one that can decide this. No assurances from others – that have changed their path or altered their behaviours will make up for a lack of commitment in yourself. It must be 110% I will give my all, because I am done with living this way. 

Even though you may be making this commitment in a foggy state of mind, the deeper part of you, struggling, knows this is what it wants. 

Predictive Model:  The Nature of the behaviour Defines the Problem

  • Start with reduction of use, make this an easy win, just 2 glasses a night and alternate with 8 ounce of water, for a week, even on the weekends, keep to your commitment
  • Exercise – + water increases the cellular flush from the system, reduce the use of other addictive patterns and behaviours, change breaks addiction in half. 
  • Increase the protein,
  • Add Vit B/C Complex 100, xs 3 a day
  • Add in Omega 3 – 4500 2 xs a day + GABA 500mg 2xs a day

Beliefs and behaviours change:

  •                   How are you feeling ? and the next day, reducing use to 1 glass + water
  •                   Reducing the intensity of use and frequency
  •                   What type of drinking have you been witness to in your life? 
  •                   Relationships – currently are they based in the consumptive use of alcohol?

 The deeper self:

  • What’s important to you Right Now?
  • What do you want to achieve with your life?
  • What are your success’s from the past/ achievements/goals completed? 
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I can do this

Clearing Toxic relationships – relationships with others may be around the use of alcohol, and even though you may use more than others right now,

When you stop completely, they will experience a pulling back – they do this, even though you don’t. They don’t want the reflection of

Sobriety when you are in recovery. Expect some relationships will change. When they do, allow for the shift into a more insular life for a short time

Sober Living  – the quality of exceptional living  

  • How will you know when you are in recovery?  – When you notice you are not “thinking about it” every moment of the day
  • When your thoughts are more in line with your goals and life style
  • When you are in place with what you want, and are achieving it without the need for distractions through addictions
  • Life choices and styles are less rigid, more fluid, relationships are much easier
  • The ones that are more challenging, you easily allow to slip away, moving into 2nd or 3rd position
  • You allow your emotions instead of trying to stop, suppress or use a substance to distract you

Plan to commit 3 months, 90 days to this, at the completion of this time, a review with another is needed. Someone that supports your recovery fully. Not someone encouraging you drink with them again, or lets go get ice cream. This is a lifestyle change, with choices that support a healthy life.

You  may slip, if you do, if you get convinced by another to try something, stay in first position, where you have more control over your behaviours. This is not the time to slip out of your body and “oh they just wanted me to join in”. You can’t afford this. Alcohol is your weakness and you made it this way. You can never allow it the power over your life again, nor give that power to another human to convince you to just “try it”.

A great way around this kind of pressure, is use your olfactory system, – SMELL it, it’s every bit as enjoyable, and you don’t have to take it into your body.

Kathy & Harry both work extensively with interrupting addictive patterns and behaviours. If you are in trouble and are seeking a private solution to your recovery, contact us today. We also treat drug addictions. We are a private practice located in Vancouver, B.C. Canada 

New Beginnings

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Do you ?

What do I want? I know what I don’t want… and that wasn’t good either,

So what do I really want?

When we are clear and know what we want, it’s really easy to pick off the stuff that does not work. And having some support in figuring that out often comes through “talking it through” with someone that does not have an investment in your decisions or choices. An impartial third party. As a “wise woman” once told me, “if you just let people talk long enough, they find their own answers.”

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Friends Support

Then you  will not end up going through 6 months or a year of more of the same, trying to get a different outcome, instead you see the patterns and you can easily say “no this is not what I want” and reach a better decision before you get hooked into more of the same.

And that’s the only match up you want to be going for. All the others are various levels of internal negotiation and denial to try and get what you want, and that creates massive delusions and illusions, drama and
self sacrifice, all in the hopes of eventually, maybe, hopefully getting a little of what you want.   

We spend our youth chasing , making and subjecting ourselves to lots of drama, and when we get older it seems reasonable to – live alone, and accept what little bits and pieces come along – declaring “I’m so much happier than I was when I was young”. Of course you are, you are alone and happily making choices just for you. What if there was a way to do this differently? No sacrifices and no giving up, and finding yourself living life sharing the adventure with someone that would not ask you or want you to give up anything?

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Shared times

So there are some ways to secure the shifts and changes you might be looking for, however, if you don’t know what they are… you won’t know when you get them.

And believe me knowing all this, nothing is perfect, there is no perfect relationship, however, if the majority of what you want, the big things are covered, then the little things are so easy for you to take care of.

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I trust myself

What we most want in our life is someone we can….

Trust? Respect? Like? Be-friend? Love? Care for? That will give us the same in return?
Physically attracted to, have fun with? Maybe choose to go the distance with each other?
Through the mirrors of relationship figure out what is mine to still work on? Witness my life and respect me enough to at least see me, hear me, and love me?

We can blame our parents, our teachers and keep ourselves a victim of our own choices and behaviours, and so many do. And it’s ok to do that too, it’s just a difference “choice point”.

When women figure this out – it’s wonderful, they are like honey to bees, because they just keep dancing out of the reach of the relationships that just will not work…because they know what they want.

And the right bee is out there, and when they share their honey together, it really is magic. Really.

When we ask: What am I doing? That’s when real change is possible.

To get there, we can’t just say – oh I’m over my childhood stuff with mom and dad , cleared and released. Instead we drive forward for :

Forgiven, and the free-flowing gratitude for  our parents, who held to their steadfast behaviours that caused me to “wake up” and say – “hey I want something different here”

Go Ahead: Ask the questions:

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I can do this!

“Who Am I?”
What do I want?
What would it look like?
What stops me from getting that?

What do I have to deal with in my own behaviours?
Am I 100% satisfied with myself?
Do I know how to go with the flow,
Let things go?
Relieve stress and anxiety, tension and even discharge anger ?

What do I have to do to get all this?
What steps do I take?
What books do I read?

Am I worth committing to? Am I the person I know I can be – all the time?

So, a set of goals, a bit of work, some commitments to taking this work personally…

Then what happens next is really up to you, because at the very least you will not be afraid of your personal history, you will have shifted that forever, into personal awareness so you never again find yourself stuck without resources to help yourself.

The crazy thing I found out in my self discovery process is this NLP training we do, and I took, is designed specifically to hit these targets, to create awareness and open us to our real self, perhaps the scariest aspect of knowing oneself is connecting to it all.

Some of the keys to self discovery are letting of of those crazy beliefs we’ve agreed to:

Masterfully handle family issues, with awareness of your own choice points
No longer controlled or manipulated by guilt or anger
Skillfully design and create the life you want
Orientate yourself to your goals and moving towards what you want, instead of away from, because of fear, guilt, lack of confidence in yourself
Know what your personal goals are
Set a campaign to achieve them in a timeline that is yours, then projecting and future pacing it into your future
Knowing what you want, and celebrating when you get it – celebrating the self, rather than expecting others to
Knowing the difference between sorting from the inside, to sorting from the outside – both are essential to navigating life, and experience, however, there are time, when only you and yourself know what is truly needed
Achieving milestone goals
Remaining active in creating the life you want
Adjusting what isn’t working quickly and efficiently rather than hoping things will change

Masterful personal change work starts with knowing what you want.

This is not a therapy, NLP doesn’t work like that, NLP operates somewhere much deeper on the level of knowing how we communicate with each other. How you communicate in your relationships whether business or personal relationship or even specifically to yourself,
NLP provides the tools to help you reveal your personal communication style, the way you process information, how you view the world, what your beliefs are, changing those historical markers that you used to believe created your problems. Getting real with who you are, helping yourself first, and feeling amazing about it.

NLP doesn’t hold a behaviour judgement either, it doesn’t need to. Leave that one to the therapist’s chair.
NLP steadfastly observes communications and the process we use to achieve the outcome, whether we like it or not, or even want to change something, NLP doesn’t hold an opinion on that.
It simply says “This is what you are doing to achieve this”.  Now, “is it what you want?”

Want to change it? Ok, then we use the same tools and skill sets to achieve that too.

So think about this, where are you right now? Do you know what you want? What’s important to you? How many times have you stopped yourself from getting what you want? If you speak your truth what happens? If you say “this is what I want” how do you feel about that? What if you have an opportunity before you – do you back away fearful of the challenges? Tell yourself I’m not good enough? No one will listen to me? My father said I was …. My mother always….

 

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Team Work

So what’s the point of those stories in your life? Are you ready to change them? For good?

Contact me and lets get started – after all this is Your Life.