What is your default state?

The interesting thing is most of us have a bad experience of authority growing up, usually it’s with our parents, then we have this with teachers, and eventually we have to come back to our genuine or authentic authority –eventually we grow up and stop whining about what we didn’t get and go get it for ourselves.

The scary thing is we actually can go get what we want. What we wanted all along. We can just go get that. And yet we can’t either. We get stopped.

When we walk the road we are supposed to walk, we have the opposite of civil authority, and we become in touch with authentic authority.

When a person is being authentic, they have authority. They are in their power. They don’t have to fight and argue, scream or go home and beat their chest and sob their pain away. They recognize who they are and they see who others are, and they accept what is in the moment.

Things can change, often they do. In fact, change is the only permanence we know

We get confused, so we don’t trust our own natural authority. When people fear not making a mistake, and fear being imperfect, we let others fill in the gap, we trust others with our truth, our sacredness, and we let them destroy it, or try to. Usually another that does this kind of thing is out of touch with their own sacredness.

Listen, it’s only money. If you put the money aside what are you really arguing about? He didn’t love me enough? If he didn’t that’s down to two things:

He didn’t love himself enough to start with and should never have been in relationship with any other human until he sorted that out in himself.

You didn’t love yourself enough to know that no one else can fill your love quota except you.  A person can tell you a million times they love you, if you don’t love yourself, you will reject it.

It’s not good enough love, it’s love that you don’t want, or like, it’s meaningless to you, it’s only physical, it was just about the money, it was a place to live, for a while I loved him…

No, you love, and it’s there forever. If it comes and goes like the sun behind a cloud does, then it wasn’t love, that might be friendship, affection, physical touch, even good kissing, but that’s not love. Love sticks around, it goes through hurt and pain and sadness, and it sticks. Love exists beyond pain. Love exists beyond the grave. If you get good love in a lifetime, it can change everything for you. And good love is not necessarily coming from the hot guy or the great looking chic. Often love starts out in friendship, caring, similarities, sharing, building core values in a relationship that begins to mean something. Then love grows – love for you in that relationship. When you love yourself through another, you can learn what that love would be like if it came through you. That kindness, that regard, that joyful connection. That’s love. And it will grow with care. Love only grows with care. Demanding and commanding love, is like asking the cloud to move on so you can own the suns rays.

Doesn’t work like that. Love grows when it’s tended, with care, dignity, kindness. Then love grows. If you are doing other in a relationship and wondering why it’s hard, argumentative, judgmental, and lacks kindness… then again, it’s not love.

Finding the dream of the self means tapping into our own genuine authority As we get closer to the self and the dream, we are in touch with our own genius, and this can be a painful place to hang out. Usually there is some wounding going on in there somewhere.  If we are in touch with our authentic self, we are in touch with our own personal healing. Healing what we need to heal – not what someone else judges us for and condemns us, telling us you need to go get that fixed – no I doesn’t’ work that way, You hold all your own answers, and if you don’t believe then just let someone try and help you heal. Or fix something, or point something out to you or correct your behavior, or ask for something different than you are giving them. Just let them try. I’d like a seat at that one, just to observe of course

When you change your life you change everyone around you. And most will resist your change unless they are changing too. Especially family.

And often they pretend they want you to stay the same, don’t change, but really most people are just focused on themselves about 99% of the time, and when you ask them, beg them to listen and help you with a problem – what are the delaying tactics you’ve witnessed?  Lets go get something to eat first, I need to use the bathroom, there’s the phone.. Just give me a minute…on it goes. So pay someone to listen to you, see if they really hear you, or are they working their own model of what you need to change too?  If you sense someone is envious, your gifts are becoming more pronounced, because there is a penetrating and damaging energy that can come in when you get in touch with your gifts. People don’t like it. Not really, because it flies in the face of what they are not doing. Sure go fly that plane, write a book, figure out a challenging process… say no once in a while and just see what happens.

You don’t have to explain anything, you don’t have to give your reasons, send notes, text others, you don’t have to do that. Did you know that? Its ok for you to just do what you are doing. If people ask, you can be responsive, or you can even tell them, “I’m working on myself right now I’ll let you know when I figure this out”. It doesn’t damage relationships… it does set boundaries and that is a healthy thing.

The self is not innocent the self is the union of opposites, the self is interested in experiences of all kinds, it’s not interested in playing perfect, or pretending there is a right or wrong, it craves experience in all its many forms.

We can act out the shadow side; we can see it in others, and in ourselves. Some pretty dark and disturbing stuff exists within the shadow nature of the self.

The normal boundaries maintained by the ego, keeping things separate, now collapse. When there are zero boundaries the shadow can swamp the ego. Now it’s let me out of here time. And that’s really not an option. I’ve had it on good authority, that if you leave unfinished work in this lifetime, no matter how hard it might seem to face this life, in this moment, if you opt to cut your work, apparently you just get to do it over. Either on that side or in a repeat performance in the next life. We never really get away with anything, no matter how mad we get, we have to deal with it. AND it’s been my experience if you avoid doing your work you just get to repeat the patterns enough times until you are saying to yourself, “hey haven’t I already been down this path several times? How come I’m here again?”

A healthy ego is needed to structure the energy. There is a slight difference that makes the self move towards the good, instead of the dark side.  It’s humanity that keeps the self in a positive state, or pretends it’s trying to be positive, all that discipline and gold star business when we are little kids.

They get us worked out fast, “want the treat? Ok, work hard then”… And it just carries on; want the guy? Work hard. Want the job? Work hard. Want the house? Work hard, want the … and we dig in, lets go get this one done; we know all about working hard to get something by the time we are two.

What is the de-fault state? What is the fault of the state you de-fault to? What state are you in daily when you are not pretending to be perfect, ok, up on everything? Who is the authentic you? Do you know?

The self, itself can manifest anything. It’s us that don’t want the negativity the authentic self can’t be wounded or damaged by anything. It’s eternal, it’s without ending.  The ego is the buffer and it knows it’s got a limited time line here. When the self is in the ferocious mode the ego steps in and keeps things in order. When all the stuff stops, and there is no one or nothing around you, what is the state you default to? Can you name it? Is it anxiety? Fear? Anger? Judgment? Who are you when you are just being yourself? Listen to yourself the next time you eavesdrop on your state, – are you criticizing others? Judging you, depressed, that’s a good one. What about obsessed or controlling? Powerless? Have you tried the state of ambivalence? There are so many choices, its really sad we kind of create the default state, and drop in there every time there is a pause in the play. Where did we go?

If you think of the other emotions, peace, love, joy, happiness… what about those states? Do you have to change your state to get into those states, or wait for something good to happen to motivate you towards those states?

Do you actually know what they feel like? If you felt one of those states, would you dismiss it? And return to what?

The faces on the temples are there to say, don’t come in here – unless you understand that the sacred is also the most deadly. Sacred and sacrifice are two sides of the same place.

The sacred always involves power, so we have to have authority when there is sacred around. A Move towards the sacred is the increase of  power and the shadow  activates the ego. The ego steps up its need for control and suppression because there is a lot of power moving around.

The increase of spirit is an increase in power. Imagination is the core power that increases the spirit  – Imagine yourself… with a new default state… what would it be? What would it look like, feel like, sound like? How would you know it was different? Can you maintain it ? What happens when it goes? What do you go back to?  Are you aware of who you are when you are not trying? Sometimes it’s exhausting isn’t it? Just trying to be… something

So there is a certain way along the path where you have to recognize it’s not ok to keep doing what you are doing. You can’t keep saying, “well I didn’t know”, because now you do know. Once you know you really can’t un-know it. It’s hard to set up these lies to ourselves, and then endeavour to maintain them, it’s gets really busy when this happens and takes a lot of extra effort to keep oneself out of the know, when you really do know.

This is the shadowy way of dealing with power.  This kind of authority is controlling, threatening, dangerous,

There is a danger of becoming the one that is guarding what is sacred – then you aren’t really close to the authentic power you are just maintaining the status quo, and protecting the sacred for everyone else. A sacrifice, remember I mentioned, it’s close to the sacred?



You have: Two ears, two eyes.

One eye sees what everyone is looking at and the other sees what is there.

One ear hears the conversation; the other ear hears what is not being said.

If you won’t see, and don’t want to listen, don’t want to feel…. The default state is ready and wiling, It entertains the ego and allows the “normal” default state to emerge.

Everyone has both language and sound within the sound combined with the image, and each person is here to connect to this, which is within them, and bring it forth. And it’s vital that you do so. And you won’t until you get in touch with your authentic power.

YOU are essential! Stop; telling yourself; you are not.

And …Everyone has this saboteur that stops and cancels it – this is the essence of the questions when we ask:

“What stops you from getting what you want?”  it’s the saboteur – and only you can do that to yourself. No one else can, you have to grant them access to your secrets, let them trash your sacredness, give over your power, diminish yourself, lay face down and let them walk over you… and only you can do this.

No one makes you do anything.  it’s all by choice, agreement and often a trade off to get something you thought you really wanted at the time, but later found out, it was one of those things that drops to the back of cupboard, and eventually goes out to the garage sale.

It was just some glitter, looked exciting, but then it really wasn’t what you thought it was going to be in the first place. Just a facsimile of the real thing. A faux version of it, but not the real one.

Dreams are the world trying to come through now.  Why stop them? They are the access point to your genius and it’s trying to reach you one half of every 24 hours. That’s a lot of dreaming.

The saboteur is the shadow self, the critic. Just about to get what I should be doing, and the critic comes up, and cancels it out. “oh maybe someone will object to what I say? Would they be upset with that? Someone could be offended? Would I hurt someone’s feelings if I spoke my truth?”

This is the shadow, and you need to be alert to the shadow and know that this is so, and how does this work inside me?

What triggers this in me?

The critic is the exaggerated sense of self, you can’t get rid of this, better to make peace with it, know it, and let it chew down on small things that can help you do better in areas you are sabotaging yourself. Like cleaning the toilette, sorting your paperwork, making the timely commitments etc.

The critic is useful  – it helps you get aware of the saboteur. Your parents gave you the internal saboteur, and their parents helped them out the same way. Essentially right now, most of us are dealing at least seven generations back with this stuff. You know the material:

Don’t get too big for your britcheswe know who you really are.     

Michael Meade,

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